June Week 3

but a bird in the bush may sing. 

 Bret Harte, author (1836-1902)

Monday June 11, 2001

Autumn poured coffee on my keyboard... I am using an old one... the keys are not right, they are binding... I really have to hammer on the 'e' key... Oh well...the coffee soaked keyboard is toast... I have fixed wet keyboards before by taking them apart I can't get this one to come apart. 

Christian has been a trial in the mornings... he really got my goat today... he was fine all day long but turned into a brat again as soon as Christy got home... Christy says I am too hard on him... I will try to shine him on tomorrow.

Today was one of those days where nothing went smoothly... I dropped things, I burned the soup at lunch, Couldn't find Mike after school... (He was at Scotty's house)... I can't remember all the crap that happened. 

A coyote ran in front of my car tonight when I went to get Mike... it was like a ghost... it ran so fast It seemed to be flying... they are beautiful animals... crafty... smart... ruthless. I hear them at night , there are at least three families in this canyon maybe more... I hear the pups howling at one another in the late evening... 

There are no people who are quite so vulgar as the over-refined.
Mark Twain- Following the Equator

Tuesday June 12, 2001

I have succeeded in shining on  Christian... I didn't even wake him up...He finally got up at about 1200. 

Cindy wouldn't get wake up either, Christy and I tried for an hour to get her up .. we finally just threw up our hands. Cindy usually responds eventually to gentle coaxing but not this morning... something has changed... One of her medications has run out and we can't get it refilled... perhaps that is the problem. 

(Cool Bumper Sticker)
Modesty is yet another thing 

I am really great at

Wednesday June 13, 2001

I was supposed to meet Christy at Autumn's IEP 0815 for a few minutes then go back home to take Dot to the Vet at 0905, ...   ...but Cindy and Calie didn't cooperate and I didn't get them to school early enough. So I went home to get Dot, Christian had her on a leash when I left... when I got home Dot was gone... We looked for her for an hour...I called the vet and rescheduled for June 22. Dot got back about 1900... no collar... no leash.

Scotty stayed here last night. (it's a long story) They (Scotty & Mike) slept outside on the trampoline.  and Scotty woke up with cold-sores on his mouth... He borrowed Christian's bike and went home about 0930.

Christy called and said that the IEP went well, we got what we wanted... she will get to go to Kindergarten again and go to both the morning and the afternoon sessions. She needs the added intensity and concentrated attention... they also suggested that she would benefit from an Augmentative Communication Device. We gave up fighting for that back last October... too many hoops to jump through from the bureaucracies it would take forever to get  and come with too many strings.

Autumn is supposed to have Therapy at 0900, no go...  

Christian went to "FunLand" with the neighbor... they had  a good time...

Thursday June 1June 2001

Cindy, Mike, and Christian 11:00 Thursday ... that's the plan... but it's shot already... Cindy has refused to go because she has a "Swimming Field Trip" with her class tomorrow. I will talk to Dr. D. about her... I have to convince him that she needs more help.  

I kept Mike out of school and took him and  Christian  to Autumn's Therapy... when it ended we jumped in the Cadillac and tore off for Valencia... jumped on the freeway and came to a complete stop...construction... We got to the Dr's Office about 10 minutes late. We suffered through the bureaucratic BS at the front desk and sat down... Autumn was full of prunes, as my dad used to say, thankfully Dr. D. called us in... I left Christian in the waiting room alone and went in with Autumn and Mike... Mike was Mike... D. likes him but is very frustrated with his ''tude and his unwillingness to make an effort to control his impulses... I gave Autumn to Mike and sent him out to the waiting room, Christian came in and sat still and smiled for about 30 seconds... then he was all over the room, picking up one thing after another and virtually climbing the walls... He tried to burn me on being a mean Daddy but he couldn't pull it off... he is such a wily little dude...  I make him turn of the TV, I make him do his chores, Dad yells at me (When I don't answer him)... it was sort of funny...

Since Cindy wasn't there I took her place...Dr. D. didn't complain because when Cindy does come she just sits on the chair and smiles, she answers every question with "I don't know".  I tried hard to explain her recent behaviors. I think I did a fairly accurate job. He made some changes to her medication.

Friday June 15, 2001  

If you would stand well with a great mind, leave him with a favorable impression of yourself; 

if with a little mind, leave him with a favorable impression of himself. 

Samuel Taylor Coleridge, 

poet and philosopher

(1772-1834)

I found out this morning that Standard Oil has heard that Albertson's deal fell through and they have made an offer on the land... guess what for... this is beautiful... talk about poetic justice...a TRUCK STOP... awww too bad... now there is nothing the town can do about it... no liquor license to revoke... we don't have to worry about Alcohol or our teenagers being confronted with the temptation of a full fledged,  By God, Perish The Thought, SUPERMARKET. Nope now we have a potential state of the art 20 acre Truck stop... I sure hope the "Keep Acton Rural" Militia chokes on their own bile... 

It is only a rumor now from a "reliable source"... I hope it's true... if it's a hoax, I'll be pissed because I didn't think of it first!

Cindy refused to go to school... she cussed out Christy and was just generally uncontrollable... I went to Kaiser to get the medication Dr. D. ordered... damn...

Saturday June 16, 2001  

After her church Christy took all the kids to Thousand Trails... all except Mike that is... Mike and I went down to "The Gym" and signed up... I usually have a hard time at these places so it wasn't an easy decision to make... Mike is thrilled...I suspect he will fit right in...  I don't tolerate bullies or 'Good Old Boys" very well. the last time I  tried one of these places I was much younger, I lasted about a week, It bored me stiff. I will stick this out for three months... My goal is to lose 40 pounds and to build up some stamina... I am in wretched shape now... I can't hardly walk up the driveway without gasping for breath... I am anxious to get started and apprehensive too.

I bought a new keyboard to replace the one Autumn drenched in coffee. 

I have pretty much resigned myself to taking the Cadillac back east... it gets fair mileage on the highway... I will camp or stay with friends on the way back so all I have to concern myself with is gas and food till I get back to Atlantic City... I want to go up into Maine and New Hampshire so I will tack on quite a bit of time... 

Sunday June 17, 2001 Fathers Dayn

I'm young, I live in a house my father owns, in a bed my father bought. Nothing is mine, except my hope and my fears and my growing knowledge that not every road is gonna lead home anymore. 

Unknown

... Rob called... that was nice, He and Stephanie are doing well... "B" called too... that made me feel good... "B" wants to come home and though we are apprehensive about that,  we want him to come home too. "B" needs a chance and I think Devereux has given him an opportunity and showed him the way out... whether he will follow through is yet to be determined but I don't think Devereux is where he needs to be now.

You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was. 

Irish Proverb

I wanted to write down some things about the significance of it all today... never found the time... what, in my estimation, being a 'father' is all about. I have made a lot of mistakes... being too much of a push-over is one... 

It seems to me that after raising 10 kids over the course of 33 years I should have some insightful things to say on the subject. Sorry... nothing comes to mind... Raising a kid in the late 60's was not nearly as challenging as raising a kid today. Things (I thought) I knew in the 60's are ludicrous today, things that I am confronted with today would have been considered outrageous back then. 

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years. 

-Mark Twain-

I watched a show with people talking about their fathers... they all had neat things to say about their Dad's... wonder what my kids will say about me...

My Dad was pretty special, he had a wonderful sense of humor and was generally a pretty tolerant fella. He gave me everything I needed and occasionally some thing I wanted... that's the way it should be I think... 

I am a bit apprehensive about the level of affluence in this community, and not just because the "Jones's" are leaving me in the dust. I think by giving the kids so much we are transferring unrealistic expectations on them. They have a difficult time appreciating the value of what they have too. Hell, I have a difficult time appreciating what I have... 

A friend says he is going to stop reading my drivel (my word) if I don't quit badmouthing his idol GWB... he says I never spoke ill of Bill Clinton... (not true, but it fits his preconception). A passionate young man...I have no idea what he sees in GW... he a true fan... He is a Republican, a Cowboy Fan... a Lakers Fan... and has a penchant for blind unwavering loyalty... that is not necessarily a bad thing, as a matter of fact , in most cases it is considered a positive attribute... this country depends on it... but I am a child of the Sixties... sacred cows are for poking at... Big Business is the engine that keeps this country running but it must be controlled Republicans want to let go of the leash and the Democrats want to keep a tighter grip... I want the struggle to continue, I don't want anyone to win that battle. Unfettered Big Business is just as bad as an omnipotent government. I need to question the status quo to make it real and to give it credibility. My own personal integrity, such as it is, demands that I reserve my loyalty for people who have proven themselves worthy... Clinton was a major disappointment to me, I have never once been disappointed in G W Bush... I have no expectations for him what so ever, how could I be disappointed. As a matter of fact he can only rise in my estimation... I don't accept things blindly any more... I don't understand people who put loyalty ahead of everything else. "America Right or Wrong" was blasphemous dogma in the 60's and the same thing applies to Republican and Democrats and all the others... If you consider your party or your country to be wrong you must stand up and be counted... that's is how this country was founded and how it will flourish... goose-stepping mindless followers don't do anyone any good. Once it comes down to Might Makes Right we are doomed, when my opinion is deemed wrong simply because it doesn't agree with yours, when my voice is drowned out by screamed insults, when I am too afraid to voice my dissent, we are lost... progress and compassion for the weak and disenfranchised will be history... the fans have won... 

I am tired... been a long day