June 2002

In Lake Woebegon, having a gardener would be like hiring someone to cut up your food.

Garrison Keillor, June 6, 2002
Saturday  June 1 , 2002

I took a picture of Christian (left) and his best friend Shon:

I watched the Motocross race from Pennsylvania on ESPN 2, Bubba was racing with a twisted knee and managed a third in the first Moto, he was coming through the pack and had made it to third again when his bike seized... awesome rider.

I needed to pick up some pictures and do a little shopping "B" was asleep, Christian was at Shon's, Mike at Brians and Christy had Cindy and Autumn at church...so I took Calie and Mokie to lunch and shopping at Cost-Co. Not a lot going on today...

I talked to my sister in Scottsdale, she had just heard a poem read by Garrison Kiellor on his 'Writers Workshop' on NPR, I hope Ross never finds out she listens to NPR when his back is turned... anyway, here's the poem:

Poem: "Here," by Grace Paley from Begin Again: Collected Poems (Farrar Straus Giroux).

Here

Here I am in the garden laughing
an old woman with heavy breasts
and a nicely mapped face

how did this happen
well that's who I wanted to be

at last a woman
in the old style sitting
stout thighs apart under
a big skirt grandchild sliding
on off my lap a pleasant
summer perspiration

that's my old man across the yard
he's talking to the meter reader
he's telling him the world's sad story
how electricity is oil or uranium
and so forth I tell my grandson
run over to your grandpa ask him
to sit beside me for a minute I
am suddenly exhausted by my desire
to kiss his sweet explaining lips

****************************************************************

 I had heard it too, didn't move me like it did her but it's a nice poem, I like poems that I can understand.

Sunday  June 2 , 2002

Mike is really annoying, there ought to be a compound somewhere in South-Eastern Arizona where you can send fourteen year old boys... damn...

I was throwing away newspapers ... lots of them. I started to think of all the information in there going to the dump. John Wayne's last movie before he died was 'The Shootist' It's an excellent movie if you haven't seen it... When he got to town he bought a Newspaper, he told the landlady where he was staying that for once in his life he was going to read a newspaper from front to back... just before the climax he laid down the paper and said "Now I know every thing that happened on April 22, 1879." It would take me 2 weeks to read the Sunday Paper alone... it's silly to consider reading it from cover to cover, but still, it bothers me to throw it away.

I got a message on a website called 'GenForum' that informed me that my G G Grandfather Nehemiah Preble married to Mariah Rooth Perry was Nehemiah Flint Preble sone of Motherwell Preble and Maria was his second wife... this information will most likely be as Earth shattering as as the color of my socks but this information has ended 5 years of searching. The Preble's are a famous family in parts of Maine, Motherwells father was captured by Indians after they killed his parents, he was rescued from the French by his Grandfather several years later. Edward Preble, a cousin, was Commodore  Edward Preble, he was the Captain of the USS Constitution at Tripoli... Fascinating stuff.

"I have always wished that my computer would be as easy to use as my telephone. My wish has come true. I no longer know how to use my telephone"
- Bjarne Stronstrup (originator of C++ programming language)

(Quote stolen frome Bruce Stein's tag line)

Monday  June 3 , 2002

It has become known to me that some of you take my musings seriously, first and foremost, always presume that I am going for a grin… I am always anxious for folks to respond to this website either positively or negatively. FYI; it will do you no good (as Jerry (and others) and I have discovered) to argue with me about Politics or Religion, those topics are subject to passions I can't control, I love to discuss them but I can't, it seems, tolerate being told that my beliefs and opinions are wrong. You can't cite the Arizona Republican when you are lambasting the Democrats, it has no more affect than me citing the San Francisco Chronicle when I deride the Republicans, there is just no way to be un-biased, if you have an Opinion, you are biased... Period. The reason arguing about things you are passionate about is so unproductive is that... well, I don't know. You can preach to the choir I suppose and your passion may inspire someone but Preaching to a Non-Believer is pointless.

I got an e-mail from a friend who was explaining a bunch of one word responses to my laboriously created masterful epistles by saying; "I am under a bit of stress right now with family stuff" I can relate, as to Stress, in my case the family (Immediate and extended) causes stress by means of illness or some magnitude of insanity, I have learned over the years to stay out of the middle as much as possible, I relegate myself to the role of cheerleader or gunfighter. I root for the ill to recover,  and when possible I try to step in at the last minute with guns blazing to prevent someone from getting hurt. I consider myself to be the ‘innocent bystander’ in most of my family’s affairs. (I wonder if they see me the same way I see myself... Hmmmm) It is difficult for me to be detached and try to be ‘the rational one’ but I try, I try also to stay as far away from the passionate emotions as possible, it never seems to help much to take sides in arguments  even when there is clearly a right or wrong to them, being correct one way or the other doesn’t matter very much in the long run, expedience and discretion are the better parts of valor. (the exception to this rule is ‘When doing battle with the world, always take your wife’s side, even when she is so off base she couldn't see Home Plate with a telescope’),

I put a couple of six foot tall bookcases together for Christy to store her junk in, we filled 'em up and she still has tons of stuff to put away...

"B" and Mike were acting out, last night, Mike because he didn't get his medicine on time and "B" because he sees Mikes behavior and thinks he is ingratiating himself with Mike. "B" idolizes Mike because Mike is occasionally nice to him... We need to find some way to let "B" be OK to "B". He is so desperate for a friend, to be with people who don't ridicule him.

Every man supposes himself not to be fully understood or appreciated.

-Ralph Waldo Emerson, writer and philosopher (1803-1882)

Tuesday  June 4 , 2002

Well this got me going today... 'Politically Correct' Exams Slammed  what a bunch of crap...I am so tired of petty people and their petty tyrannies... This sort of Overprotective, Arbitrary, Subjective, Orwellian, Newspeak garbage is really getting silly... We are creating a nation of pampered brats. People without a clue how to interact with one another, afraid to speak their minds for fear they will be censored by the PC Police, afraid to show honest emotion. We are training our children to be more concerned with appearances and style than with individuality and honesty.

I deal with it and wag my finger at it daily, Autumn is being so pampered and protected at school she can barely move... don't misunderstand this, I think they are doing a great job with her within their limited/limiting guidelines. I wish they could do more, I wish they were more concerned with her development than her safety. I wish they had specially trained personnel to teach her to do the things she needs to do to survive.

One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our human feelings. The curriculum is so much necessary raw material, but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child.

Carl Jung

Wednesday June 5 , 2002

Cindy didn’t take her medication this morning and this afternoon while Christy was on her way to have pictures taken of four of the kids (Calie, Christian, Mike & Cindy) Cindy went ‘berserk’ (for lack of a better word) in the car, Christy says it was all she could do the keep the car on the road… Mike was able to restrain Cindy but it was pretty harrowing I guess. Cindy grabbing the wheel and swearing at strangers in other cars and flipping them off biting scratching… must have been quite a scene, Cindy is always a bit odd but she only goes bananas when she misses her medicine…

"B" missed his medicine yesterday and took a swing at Christy… Mike was late with his and was a born again creepizoid all night. It is a little nervous making that their medication is that critical… Oh well… we went into this with our eyes all this BS is just part of the package. Life’s a bitch-then ya die.

I was on my second trip to LOWES to get the right kind of knobs for the faucet in the bathroom sink, the guy helping me gave me the wrong one… the pictures on the box all show splined posts but the box contained a slotted knob… I am very tired again... been staying up too late... I need to clean the house and hang some dry-wall we are going to have a bunch of folks over for Ken's 'Funeral' we will be dispersing his ashes up in Keene, at the Tehachapi Loop... yeah... I know... but it's what he wanted... 'nuff said . Pat is flying in from Pennsylvania and Suzie and Gary are coming over from Henderson plus Karen and Blaine and Grandma and Grandpa. And they will all be here in Saturday. Got two days to pick up this train wreck... Christy is pretty crippled up with all her ailments, she tries but it's practically impossible...

So many faces in and out of my life; some will last, some will be just now and then. Life is a series of hellos and goodbyes, I'm afraid it's time for goodbye again.

Billy Joel

Thursday  June 6 , 2002

Autie goes to Therapy with the droids at CCS... I wish I could convince them that Autie is more important to me than anything that goes on down there, their rules and regulations mean nothing to me... less than nothing.

When Christy got home she took Calie and Christian down to Canyon Country get their pictures taken...

There is a big fire roaring up Bouquet Canyon or there abouts, it is heading toward a nice little town called Green Valley... it's too bad... lots of wind today...  when I took the picture that bright dot was bright red, to bright for the camera to reproduce  that is smoke from the fire, I guess..

Mike is getting close to being too hard to handle. Another episode today...

This is a good time to make note of the fact that I do edit out quite a bit of stuff, it may seem like this is chock full of a full day of this silliness but it's not even close to what is really going on...

Live so that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.

Will Rogers

Friday  June 7 , 2002

I forgot to make an entry for today... Got caught up in genealogy between all the errands and just forgot, it's been a long time since I have forgotten to make an entry here.

Calie and I cleaned the house... She is such a neat kid when there are no other kids around... a bit of a pain when they are.

When Christy got home she took Calie and Sandy down to Pearblossum to get some fruit and vegetables for Saturday.

Boredom flourishes when you feel safe. It's a symptom of security.

Eugene Ionesco

Saturday  June 8 , 2002

Suzie and Gary showed up from Vegas a little after 0900, they left at about 0430, Gary puts the pedal to the metal. Karen, Pat (who flew in from Pennsylvania), Grandma and Grandpa came in about a half hour later. We made it over to Tehachapi at about 11:00 and met Ken's ex-girlfriend Julie Doughty. I remember her from a long time ago and she has changed markedly. She is a Loan Officer at a Real Estate outfit on Tehachapi when I first met her, well, lets say I was unimpressed. She seemed very nice, her son, about 16 I'd say, was with her. Ken was probably the first or only father he knew, I don't know that for sure but he seemed genuinely moved. Julie greeted us like family, it was a little surreal for a while until it dawned on me that her perception of our relationship to her was tempered by Ken and the family he represented to her. It was very touching actually, I didn't expect that.

(Ceremony at The Loop)I have to say that it was probably the saddest funeral service I have ever been to. We met in Keene, about 10 miles west of Tehachapi Julie and her son had been up a few days earlier to select a good site, we drove the three miles up to the 'Tehachapi Loop'. We parked about a hundred yards from where the plaques proclaiming it as a historical landmark are. We walked about 50 yards up a narrow trail and gathered around a rock, I was carrying Autumn and lagged a bit behind. The ceremony started quickly,  Julie read a poem she had written. When Julie was done, Grandpa marched up to the box of ashes and took a huge handful, threw it in the air and said, almost yelling; (I am paraphrasing) "There you go son, you're free now, I love you, I'll see you again" then he marched up the hill a ways and cried, but he was done with it, he said goodbye.  He's a tough old duck, he knows what he has to do and he does it... I have a lot of respect for that.

I am not totally sure where the sadness I felt comes from, Funerals are usually an homage, a celebration of a life, and opportunity to say goodbye, a formal finality... letting go. There was some of all that there but I think what made me sad was watching the people who loved him, the people who wanted a brother/son they could be proud of say goodbye to the end of that dream.

We came back to the hovel, watched the horse race, ate some lasagna, said goodbye to Suzie and Gary at about 1500, the others stayed a bit longer but Grandpa was ready to go, and that's that. It would have been nice if Pat could have stayed a bit longer...Oh well.

Karen, Christy, Pat & Susie

I have said this several times before in this amalgamation of mine... I love Prairie Home Companion. Tonight he had a a Broadway singer named Swedish opera singer, a Ukrainian Mandolin player, a Broadway singer named Kristin Chenoweth, a Bluegrass band with an organ... amazing. The show takes me back to another time and simpler way of looking at the world. For two hours I am in another place listening to music, jokes, skits, intricate stories about people I feel I have known all my life... of course, this being 'The Hovel' there were a few interruptions, Autumn had a mild seizure, Cindy had her nightly conniption, we removed a 3 foot long garter snake from the my bathroom... other than that it was a nice break to sit and listen to the show... wonder what I missed.

In contrast, earlier I had watched the 'BIG RACE' The Triple Crown/Belmont Stakes... ho-hummmm aside from getting a real kick out of seeing a 70-1 long shot make all the 'experts' look like idiots when he won going away, I really couldn't relate. There is nothing at all in the whole 2 hour production that I could correlate to my world, the rarified air of the people involved in racing thoroughbred horses is totally alien. I'll stick to Motorcycle racing, at least the racers taking the credit are the ones who did the job... horse racing... I don't understand it.

Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is.

Thomas Szasz

Sunday  June 9 , 2002

I worked on some Mooers genealogy this morning, I made another contact and learned some new information, nothing in my direct lineage but still good stuff. I planned to take the kids to the movies but I wasn't getting a lot of cooperation so I just ended up taking the boys, Mike and I went to see 'A Sum Of All Fears' and the little guys went 'The New Guy' 'A Sum Of All Fears'  was above average, Ben Affleck and Morgan Freeman are great together... here is a good Review. "B" and Christian seemed to enjoy their movie too, I asked Christian to tell me about it and he did but "B" interrupted him every 10 seconds with corrections, it was funny, like they had watched different movies.

I will take the girls to see the cartoon 'Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron' tomorrow or the next day.

This was a full week, seemed to go on forever... glad it's over, wonder what tomorrow brings...