December 2002 Week 4

Monday  December 23 , 2002

If the rich could hire someone else to die for them, the poor would make a wonderful living.

I am trying to keep the house clean, I told the kids that Christmas will only happen in a clean house, if it takes till Easter the house will be clean before one present is opened... they did a good job... so far. I made another shopping trip, bought myself a new printer for X-mas, picked up some stuff for Christy and brought back $30 worth of fast food for the indigenous fauna.

Been pretty busy wrangling kids and running errands, not much time to spend on this endeavor and it irks me some. I feel like I am being deprived of my ability to express myself. I can't find the words to make it clear, even to myself, why I am compelled to do this. It's a mystery. This time at the keyboard in the evening is important to me. I think that the rest of the world sees this sort of thing as frivolous and nerdy and I guess it is, but it keeps me off the streets and out of the bars, I don't fool around with lewd women, don't drink much... that's something... isn't it?

I consider myself to be a pretty smart guy who is ignorant on an incredible number of subjects. I wonder if that statement is even true.

Midnight, time to crash...

Speaking of crashing, four years ago today I smashed my mother's little red Pontiac... damn, every time I think of that day I get melancholy...

Tuesday  December 24 , 2002

I took Monica to Kaiser she has had Asthma for about a week and the treatments don't seem to be helping, I brought Autumn along too because she was looking sorta punky and had a runny nose.

For the third year in a row I have managed to procrastinate long enough to ensure that I have no time to send out cards or a "Newsletter" or anything. I feel bad but I just don't seem to have the time energy or inclination to do either. I got lots of cards and a few great newsletters from folks this year, made me feel even guiltier, people taking trips to exciting and exotic places, kids graduating from High School and college. My newsletter would read a little different, I could always lie I suppose but I'm not very good at it. I could tell the truth too but then I would just feel depressed... I could just hit the high spots I guess.

Wednesday December 25 , 2002

I saw this poem on Garrison's weekly newsletter, I thought it was a beautiful sentiment... be nice to be able to write stuff like this wouldn't it.

We made it to Riverside by about 12:30, had a great dinner and watched some football, Autie and I dined together, she doesn't need help to eat but it's easier if I give her a hand, her fine-motor skills are still developing and the spasticity seems to get worse when she has to focus on exact motions.

Thursday  December 26 , 2002

Boxing Day... I spent most of the morning putting together X-Box's and other Christmas technology and rearranging one thing and another, cleaned up my desk and did some filing.

Friday  December 27 , 2002

I asked Calie to write down what she and Monica wanted from Subway, is this adorable or what?

I took Mike to Palmdale and did some shopping, when I had packed up my order from Subway I started out of the Albertson's Parking lot and saw a fella who looked hurt pushing a bicycle. I stopped and started to back up, heard a horn honking emphatically and slammed on the brakes and simultaneously felt a small jolt. I looked in the mirrors and couldn't see a damn thing, I got out and sure enough, I hit a little green car. I couldn't see any damage but I gave the lady my name and number anyway... I feel like an idiot, I am so angry at myself I can't see straight...stupid!

Every time something like this happens I feel angry, helpless, victimized (even when it's my fault). The reality that something as silly as the car behind you being in your 'blind spot' can potentially ruin your life. One moment's inattention, one mistake, one lapse in good judgment can send your life spinning off out of control. We get lulled into a false sense of  security when things go smoothly for a while then bang some one gets sick, some one dies, someone has an accident, earthquake, rain, fire the fates have a whole basket of things that can spoil your day, and they usually wait till you start feeling good about your life before they unleash the cacophony.

I had a short 'Chat' with my Niece Margaret Mary Bowman... and got an update on all her siblings... it was nice to talk to her. Getting information out of my sister Leigh is hard to do, not because she is uncooperative but because she is virtually impossible to get hold of... My nephew Billy is having another child delivered, their 4th... I think they have been married 6 years... Michael is teaching autistic children Betsy is teaching too, has her own class. Leigh has two in High School, 2 in college and 5 out in the big wide world, all terrific kids, she and Bill must be doing something right.

Saturday  December 28 , 2002

I got three copies of TurboTax last week... is that ominous or what... anybody want one? I promised one to Carol H. but she hasn't responded just yet so only one is available at the moment. NFL is on today, the only games I care about are the Rams, Packers and Miami... Miami because I want to watch Ricky Williams run a few more times this year.

Couldn't focus on the games today... I started reading some of the Joke pages I haven't been able to get to  and I ran across this:

Dr. B. Franklin

Dr. Franklin, as agent for the Province of Pennsylvania, being in England at the time the Parliament passed the stampt-act for America, was frequently applied to by the Ministry for his opinion respecting the oper ation of the same. He assured them that the people of America would never consent to it.

The act was nevertheless passed, and the events shewed he had been right. After the news of the destruction of the stampt paper had arrived in England, the Ministry again sent for the doctor, to consult with him, and concluded with this proposition, that if the Americans would engage to pay for the damage done in the destruction of the stampt paper, &c., the Parliament would repeal the act.

To this the doctor answered that it put him in mind of a Frenchman, who having heated a poker red hot, ran into the street, and addressing an Englishman he met there, said, "Hah, monsieur, voulez vous give me de plaisir et de satisfaction, and let me run dis poker only one foote up your backside?"

"What?" says the Englishman.

"Only to let me run dis poker onf foote up your backside," says the Frenchman.

"Damn your soul!" says the Englishman.

"Well, den," says the Frenshman, pointing to about six inches of the poker, "only _so_ far."

"No, no, damn your soul!" replies the Englishman. "What do you mean!"

"Well, den," says the Frenchman, "will you have de justice to pay me for de trouble and expence of heating de poker?"

Englishmen across the sea [in the American colonies], said the doctor, would say to their Lordships precisely what the other Englishman said to the Frenchman, "be damned to you!"

quoted in: Astwell, James R. (Ed) "Native American Humor," New York: Harper & Brothers Publishers, 1947. Pp. 10-11

Submitter's note: I've proofed this carefully because of the wonderful old spellings and only added the bracketed material for clarification.

I spent some time looking and found a couple copies of Native American Humor and bought one.

Liked this one too:

Green Mountains Boy (Anonymous, ca. 1820)

On the banks of the Hudson {river, in New York State} a bunch of village laofers were standing, seeing who could throw stones the farthest into the stream. A tall, slabsided Yankee came up and looked on. For awhile he said nothing, 'till a Yorker in a tight jacket began to try his wit on Johathan.
"You can't beat that," said the Yorker, as he hurled a stone away out into the river."
"Maybe not," said Johathan, "but up in Vermont in the Green Mountains, we have a pretty big river, considering, and t'other day I hove a man clear across it and he came down fair and square on the other side."
His auditors yelling in derision.
"Well, now, you may laugh," said Johathan, "but I can do it again."
"Do what?" demanded the tight-jacketed Yorker quickly.
"I can take and heave you across that river yonder, just open and shut."
"Bet you ten dollars on it!"
"Done!", said the Yankee. Drawing forth a 10 note, he covered the Yorker's shinplaster.
"Can you swim, feller?" he asked.
"Like a duck," says tight jacket.
Without further parley, the Vermonter seized the knowing Yorker stoutly by the nape of the neck and the basement of his pants, jerked him from his foothold, and dashed him heels over head into the Hudson. A shout ran through the crowd as he floundered in the cold water. He put back to shore and scrambled up the bank.
"Ill take that ten-spot, if you please," said the shivering loafer, advancing to the stake-holder. "You took us for greenhorns, eh?
We'll show you how to do things down here in York."
"Well," said Johathan, "I reckon you won't take no ten spot just yet captain."
"Why? You lost the bet!"
"Not exactly, I didn't wager to do it the first. Just said I could do it, and I tell you I can." And in spite of the loafer's utmost effort to escape him, Jonathan seized him by the scruff and seat and pitched him farther into the river then upon the first trial.
Again the Yorker floundered back through the icy water.
"Third time never fails," said the Yankee, stripping off his coat. "I can do it, I tell you!"
"Hold on!" said the victim.
"And I WILL do it, if I try 'till tomorrow morning," said Jonathan.
"I give it up!" shouted the sufferer between his teeth which now chattered like a mad badger's. "T-t-take the m-m-money!"
"Oh well, if that's the way it's done in York State," said the Vermonter, pocketing the money, and coolly turning away.

quoted in: Astwell, James R. (Ed) "Native American Humor,"
New York: Harper & Brothers Publishers, 1947. Pp. 42-43
 

Sunday  December 29 , 2002

My favorite cartoon of the year:

Only two more days left in 2002... good riddance. I think, there were some high points but for the most part I think I am glad to see it gone, the Economy is in the toilet... still.