Took this picture on the way to Autumns therapy...

A super-secret cabal of six people control the world's money markets and the weather. 

(http://www.paranoidschizophrenic.com)

 Monday,      December 4 2000

…Mice have gotten into my small shed… damn things are sure destructive… they tear things up just for the hell of it, like kids. I tried to just haul stuff out of the shed but there is jut too much stuff and not enough time… I will try again next week. Calie is standing beside me here at my computer “writing sentences” using her spelling words. “We have two livers.” I said, “No, you have one liver” I looked at the word she was supposed to be using and it was “Lever”… I guess I had better pay better attention.

 She is so cute, she is getting a real spunky personality… she can be a real brat sometimes but she is still my baby… it is very hard for me to get mad at her… disappointed… perhaps… not mad.

 Tuesday      December 5, 2000

…Today was a make-up therapy day for Autumn… I am really having a hard time with that bunch… it appears that their thrust is to find a reason not to treat Autumn… today Janie went out of her way to tell me that Autumn’s prescription has expired… I didn’t know that could happen, like CP was only going to be a problem as long as the prescription was current… Janie said that technically, she didn’t have to see Autumn but she was seeing her under the guise of “Evaluating her for further treatment.” Now, what is that? Apparently the Kaiser Doctor (Dr Apell) will have to re write her prescription for further treatment to continue… I just kept my mouth shut, it occurred to me to ask whether in the future we can do the evaluations on an on-going basis and eliminate the need for her to be so magnanimous with her time. This sort of eleventh-hour blind-siding is ridiculous… It took three months to get in to see Apell last time… I have to say this up front, Autumn is not motivated to receive therapy, she has no burning desire to improve any aspect of her existence, everything is just hunky-dory for Autie… well, mostly, she hates Phenobarbital and fights like a tiger at medicine time, she hates seatbelts, when she is naked out of the bath she wants to stay naked and when she is dressed she wants to stay dressed.

 Another thing sort of bothered me today (Put my paranoia antenna up) … As I was getting Autumn ready to go I mentioned to Autumn that she would have to get into her “buckle” and not fight me like she did on the way over… I have some pronounced scratches on the side of my face from her resisting being buckled up… I had to stop three times to re-secure her… Anyway when I said “Buckle” Janie did a slow double-take and repeated “Buckle?” like I had said “Manacle” or Lock-up” or “Bury-alive”, I explained that to Autumn “Buckle” is synonymous with “Seat-Belt” she said “Oh” … but she made a mental note… I really don’t trust her… She fell there once and banged her head on the leg of a piece of equipment… now she wants to buy Autumn a helmet to wear, I said “She won’t wear it, she hated the helmet we had for her. She and I took the thing out to the trash bin and I let her throw it away.” Well just to prove me wrong she got a plastic construction helmet and put it on her head and put one of those white fiberglass institutional grade helmets on Autumn and played “Pretend Hockey” with a ball… Autumn fell for it and looks forward to the helmet game… Janie gives me an short glance of demure smugness… Autumn will eventually have a hissy-fit… I promise …

 I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

 It just triggered my old paranoia, I have mentioned that we have been turned in to the “Child Abuse Hot-line” twice by well meaning PC Pinheads… once because Cindy was having a tantrum and pretending to throw up, she was being watched by a babysitter at the soccer field and we had told the babysitter just to ignore Cindy when she has a tantrum. She did, some Soccer Mom, called the hotline saying Cindy was “violently ill and her parent was ignoring her…” We explained the situation to the Investigator and she said not to worry. Next time “The owner of the Pre School Monica attended turned us in because a father complained that Monica had pulled his sons pants down and “molested him”, what ever that means. She and he were five years old. We finally interrogated Monica and listened to the bullshit from the “Investigator from Children’s Services” (Scared us to death, they threatened to take all the kids out of our house) only to find out that the little boys older sister was the “perpetrator” (She was 6) not Mokie, The little boy blamed Monica because he was afraid of his big sister… Christy and I live with the threat that some well-meaning citizen will turn us in for some perceived mistreatment. I am not terribly concerned about actually losing the kids, the people we have dealt with in DCFS are a pretty levelheaded bunch and we have established considerable credibility over the years… it’s just the idea of having to defend ourselves again is demoralizing. Our society is full of people who will shoot first and ask questions later, the Media has conditioned us to believe that our neighbors are all evil masterminds bent on destroying our wholesome lifestyle. More people are being hurt by unfounded accusations and innuendos than by real bad-guys.

 The first human who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the founder of civilization.

Sigmund Freud

neurologist, founder of psychoanalysis

(1856-1939)

 

Wednesday December 6, 2000

… feel like hell again… I hate flu season… don’t feel like writing…so…:

 

 Thursday     December 7, 2000

…Autumn therapy… another “talk” with Jeanie today… she and I are really having a personality conflict… she informed me that:

Autumn’s prescription had run out, I had been aware that a prescription was required to get her services but I didn’t know it was only good for 6 months… Like there was a possibility that Cerebral Palsy would go away. I can understand periodic re-evaluation to ensure that she is getting proper treatment. But why involve a physician if there is no change in her medical needs… it seems like they are doing all they can to not treat Autumn. Maybe we need to find a place that has Autumns needs in the forefront and not the perpetuation of some arbitrary bureaucratic regimen. Janie was supposed to have evaluated her and filed for a continuation of services a month ago but she didn’t realize the prescription had lapsed… no Autumn doesn’t get Physical Therapy for a couple weeks, she will still see Myra for a half an hour but…

Janie says she feels Autumn’s problem is “Safety Awareness”, she’s afraid Autumn is going to hurt herself… (She is also convinced (I feel) Autumn doesn’t know where her body is in relation to the world around her. She walks but can’t negotiate obstacles and any distraction can cause her to fall. Left to Janie Autumn would be in a wheelchair and encased in 3 inches of foam rubber. Autumn will not progress being restricted by overprotective apparatuses Autumn does very well in her walker and negotiates level ground without obstacles just fine. She is capable of catching herself when falling. I do not see a problem…

 Watched a big chunk of “Woodstock” on TV, I can’t imagine what that must have been like… an ocean of people. I think I am glad I was working that weekend…

 Friday          December 8, 2000

… My Baby Sisters birthday today… she is 52 (Sorry Leigh, that was crass but chances are you will never read this so…) Hardly seems possible seems like only yesterday I stuck a dart in her head at 4931 N. Berkeley Blvd. Well, she never writes or calls, the fact that she has 9 children is no excuse… is it? 

 Christy, Autumn and I went to Cindy’s IEP at 0830, It was a good meeting, it seems we are all on the same wavelength. I really enjoy these meetings when they are un-contentious and productive. Cindy is doing well, what we are able to measure indicates her socialization skills are improving, I was getting concerned because of my proximity she appears unchanged.

 We went to CCS to be introduced to an Autumn Augmentative Communication Device called a “Dyno-mite” in order for us to evaluate it’s viability for Autumn… Myra, Janie and Josh (From Dynovox) http://www.dynavoxsys.com/ I am more interested in the DynaMyte 3100 than the little one (DynaMo) The pictures need to be a little more realistic for Autumn, she would probably figure it out but the Dynamyte is pretty bang on for he needs, the DynaVox is very heavy and one of the arbitrary requirements for this gizmo is that she needs to be able to tote it around… she won’t be but it’s part of the package or CCS won’t pay. They are all outrageously overpriced because they don’t sell to individuals they sell to Outfits like CCS or the Regional Center or Los Angeles School District…so tedious… I would buy the damn thing in a heart beat if it was reasonably priced… but $6300.00+ not including carrying straps, mounting hardware, ad infinitum, is a little stiff for my financial situation. It is virtually indestructible and is programmable and upgradeable with new software “sets” as she gets older… There are two more devices to scope out… Word+ and one other that I can’t recollect at the moment.

   Saturday      December 9, 2000

…I went to breakfast with Lumpy down to Crazy Otto’s, the place was packed! For a restaurant that charges for salsa that is truly amazing. There were a couple of local characters there that look like they are members of some sort of geezer Country Band… They are “Constitutional Activists” They put a huge black coffin in the back of their pick-up truck and parked it in front of the Los Angeles City Hall to protest something or rather associated with this silly election. It was fun talking to them… pretty intense fellas.

 Though I am occasionally guilty of getting all hyper about one thing or another myself I do get nervous about being around people who get passionate about things they have no control over. These two guys think they are making a difference… more power to ‘em. I like to get excited and worked up about stuff sometimes but it’s not a real comfortable feeling for me. I have never been comfortable getting all agitated face to face. I much prefer to write my rants, that way I can throw them away in the morning if I go overboard… I try not to write a tirade and send it right out… I wait till the next day… If I still feel it’s worth sending I send it, but more often than not I just put it in my “Discretion is the better part of valor” folder.

 I took Calie to Sara’s (no “h”) house for the birthday party, Christian to Shon’s house and Cindy to Wall-Mart…

 This is Christian (Don't call me Lumpy) Daggett

Just because I haven't used a picture of him in a while...

 

 

 Sunday       December 10, 2000

…I just remembered that I have to create a “Star of the Week” exhibit for Autumn… I made a little collage of photos and wrote a brief introduction and put them on photo paper. I will have to stop by the school after I drop off Monica and see what the other parents did…

 Calie came back from her Slumber/Birthday party, apparently they actually slept, she seems in pretty good condition. I didn’t do much today but watch football,,, the Rams and the Vikings put on a hell of a good show … Rams and Tampa next week…

Sierra Highway and Crown Valley Road

What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say.

Writer and philosopher

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

 

Monday,      December 11 2000

… Christy and I had no place to be and nothing pressing to do … a very rare situation… so we took Autumn to breakfast … nothing fancy but it’s the first time we have been ‘out to eat’ in so long I cant remember the last time…

  It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.

Jerome K. Jerome

  Tuesday      December 12, 2000

…"B" called with his Councilor Kelly Myer, I found out his new case manager is someone named Lisa Rutherford. I made a commitment to pick "B" up on the 23^rd.

 Mike stayed home “sick”. (Mike is never sick… he’s immune to everything…)

Autumn has a party to go to at Chuck E. Cheese’s tonight… Chuck E. Cheese’s is a great place, it’s worth the extra bucks because it is so painless. Ya show up, the kids go crazy for 2 hours, ya go home. No cooking, no clean up, just fork over 10 bucks a head for the kids… worth every penny.

The party was for one of Autumn’s classmates, Clarissa (sp) she is adorable, she was pretty much oblivious to Autumn as were the other kids, 6 year olds are not noted for their outward displays of compassionate grace when confronted by a 5000 square feet of vidio games, tunnels, ladders, rides, food and presents. I had Calie and Cindy, Cindy was pretty good but Calie sorta just did her own thing… Autumn had a ball… that’s what counts.

Wednesday December 13, 2000

…"B" called again today with Michael Namm, his psychologist, I babbled small talk with "B" and confirmed I would be picking him up on the 23rd. I talked to Dr. Namm about my fears that he was becoming “Institutionalized” and he seemed to think that on some level that was a real concern. We will have to be pulling him out of there more often I guess.

At about 1600 I got another call from Kelly Myer, "B"’s Councilor, and she informed me that "B" would not be going into the Golita school system, “There is no room for him in the classes available.” I don’t understand that… is she saying that If I were to move to Golita I wouldn’t be able to enroll my kids into any of their schools? I doubt that. This is Penny Luce, she and I do not seem to be on very good terms, apparently the mere presence of "B"’s at Devereux has been interpreted by her to be a slap in the face, she originally declined to pay for his education at Devereux, saying he should be educated in Public School because that’s what Acton School said. She was over-ridden by someone and her nose is bent. Well, I guess we need to set up an IEP, quickly…

I listened to Gore “Concession Speech” and was impressed by the words and by the sincerity of his demeanor, in contrast to Bush’s “Victory (Acceptance) Speech” which I thought was well written, but uninspired. He seemed to invoke God as his personal mentor a few to many times, it was beginning to sound like a sermon after a bit. I may as well get used to it, his father was a crappy speechifier too. Kennedy, Reagan, and Clinton were great speakers, I’m afraid Bush sounds like he’s trying to sell me a set of encyclopedias.  

Thursday     December 14, 2000

…Yesterday, Mike was sent to OCS (On Campus Suspension)

This is Mike’s side of the story… The Aide in his room gave some sort of instruction, Mike said “What?” and she repeated her instruction… Mike who has minimal frustration tolerance said “Well that makes no sense.”  The Aide retorted, “I made perfect sense”. What Mike interpreted that to mean is “You are too stupid to understand what I said, sit down and shut up!” I may have interpreted it the same way but I would have had some sort of smart-ass retort like “You may have made perfect sense but that doesn’t mean I understood you, could you find another way to express it so learning disabled people like me can understand it too?” or “If it was “Perfect Sense”, why don’t I understand? Or “In what language was that “Perfect Sense”, perhaps we could get an interpreter?” or “Wow, then I really have a problem… I can’t understand “Perfect Sense”(!) what are we going to do about that.”…. Anyway, in anger and or frustration, Mike threw his pencil on the desk and it bounced up and “Just missed” the Aide… she sent him to On Campus Suspension.

When I picked him up after school he seemed sort of blindsided and oblivious to the perception that he was in trouble. It took me until I got a call from Christy this morning to see that it was a big deal… She went to sign the slip and read the description of the incident from the Aide… “Student threw a pencil at the Classroom Aide with intent to commit personal injury and bodily harm.” Christy is livid… the Teacher said Mike threw his pencil down on the desk because that’s what the Aide told her. How did that turn into malicious intent?

Mike is in that class because he has a learning disability, they had better find Aides that have been trained to handle children with disabilities and teach them some Anger Management/ Resolution training skills too. Getting mad at a kid who is already insecure, for not understanding an instruction is counter productive at the very least, and spitefully provocative at worst.

If any man wishes to write in a clear style, let him be first clear in his thoughts; and if any would write in a noble style, let him first possess a noble soul. 

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

poet, dramatist, novelist, & philosopher 

(1749-1832)

Friday          December 15, 2000

…I took Autumn to Therapy. <This should be on the Rants Page> I got her to school early and went to the playground with her. I left Autumn in the middle of the school yard and went to drop off her backpack by the classroom door. Miss Jumbles (Jumbles is a pseudonym, I don’t care for Miss Jumbles she is “Good Soldier Schweik, she does her job, not one thing more, she yells at the kids, she is only civil to the teachers and Mrs. Gonder, I have never heard her say anything positive to anyone.” Autumn had walked to the swing and was trying to get on by herself, she looked at Miss Jumbles and said “Help” (Haaaap) Miss Jumbles said’ “No Autumn, you have to wait for Miss Jan.” (It is not in Miss Jumble's job description to actually help children) I just went over and put Autumn on the swing and pushed her till Miss Jan showed up. I watched Miss Jumbles and her cohort policing the kids. There are only kindergarteners on this playground. They busted about 3 of them for running, I asked the cohort, “When are they allowed to run?” she said “They can run in first grade, but only on the grass.” I said (a little too incredulously) “You won’t let the kindergarteners run?” She said “No they can’t run, they run into each other and someone could get hurt.” She looked at me like I was some sort of anarchist so I decided to drop the subject, about that time Miss Jumbles yelled to “The Cohort” I am taking Juan to the office, she had just confiscated his sunglasses (Sunglasses are contraband in kindergarten I guess). What irked me was that she was wearing sunglasses and so was The Cohort… it seems to me that if parents send their kid to school with sunglasses on then the school ought to respect the parents decision. Poor little Juan was squinting so bad he couldn’t see, the last I saw of him he was trailing in Miss Juumble’s wake on the way to the principals office.

Christy and the girls went caroling, I watched “The Patriot” with the boys. I didn’t like it as much this time… I should never watch a movie twice.

  Saturday      December 16, 2000

…Monica poured boiling water on her hand at about 20:00… Monica was just yelling Owww, over and over, it took us a second or two to figure out what her problem was... we had to drag her to the sink. We ran cold water on it for about 5 minutes, it looked like a first degree burn to me but in about 15 minutes there were blisters starting to show so I took her to Kaiser… They got us in to the Doctor in record time… they put ‘Silvadene’ (an ointment) on it and wrapped it up like a boxing glove… Monica was impressed. I think she was anxious to show it to her pals at school…

   Sunday       December 17, 2000

…didn’t do much today beyond watching football… I had the boys, and Christy took the girls to Bonnie’s mother’s 90th Birthday Party… Bonnie put 90 candles on the birthday cakes… I could have told her that was a bad idea after putting 50 on Christy’s last March the candles burned down into the frosting before she could get them lit... Christy said it was pretty funny, I am surprised the smoke alarm didn't go off.

Computer science professor

Tuesday      December 19, 2000

…Autumn still has a fever, the Tylenol knocks it down but it comes back in four hours, Christy called Kaiser and made an appointment for 13:15. Autumn has had several bouts with Pneumonia so we are very careful, any fever that lasts for more than a day is taken seriously… the Doctors at Kaiser humor us…

 Christy is teaching today, 0900 till 12:00. Christy came home and picked up Autumn… I had to stay home to pick up the kids… I took Cindy, Monica and Calie to Wal-Mart to get stuff for the Christmas Parties at school, I wanted to get Calie a backpack with wheels so she can pull it, her backpack weighs 18 pounds… too much for a little kid. Wal-Mart was out of them. I got Cindy some church shoes and stopped at Albertson’s for some more Party supplies…

 Wednesday December 20, 2000

…Christy has been wrapping Christmas Presents most of the day. We kept Autumn home from school again today, she was feeling OK in the early morning but the fever came back by 0900… I cleaned a little bit, ran a few quick errands and took Autumn to McDonalds for lunch… poor baby… I watched a video of the kids from 6 years ago… Mike was 6, Autumns age… he was so athletic. My brother-in-law Mike was refereeing races between the kids, he kept moving Mike back to handicap him… it was funny, the kids were laughing so hard… I looked over at Autumn laughing along with them… it made me so sad, she hasn’t a clue what was stolen from her.

 This is the second year I have not done a Newsletter or sent out Christmas Cards… I keep burying it deeper into the “To Do” pile on the back burner. If procrastination was an occupation, I would be CEO.

A multitude of laws in a country is like a great number of physicians, a sign of weakness and malady. –

Voltaire, philosopher (1694-1778)

Thursday     December 21, 2000

…Autumn is still sick, her fever went to 102.8… so we took her in to Kaiser again… they patted us on the butt and said yup, she’s still sick by golly… there appear to be no complications, the Dr… (Dr. Dillard) put in a standing prescription for Antibiotics. If it continues through Saturday we will go get it… if she gets better we will just let it lapse… Dr. Dillard is cool.

Didn’t get a lot accomplished… We watched “Gladiator” on Direct TV… pretty good… Mike thinks it’s the best movie he has ever seen… It’s a pretty tragic story in a heroic way. Like "El Cid", "Ben Hur" or "Spartacus" (sp) a lot like "El Cid" actually... I am getting jaded in my old age... Mike had never seen anything like it.

I messed with the Cogswell Newsletter again… think I am burned out on it… it is only George Overman and I that make a contribution to this thing... actually George does 90% of it... all I do is put it together. and... I can’t see that  more than 5 or 10 people actually gives a damn… George works his butt off and I have a morale problem.

Friday     December 22, 2000

…Autumn had an hour and a half of therapy today… she worked hard and got raves from Jean and Myra… she seemed to be able to really “stay on task”. I think the fact that there was no hullabaloo this morning trying to get the other kids up, dressed, fed and off to school may have been a contributing factor in her ability to focus… they worked with her “Words+” talking machine today… they covered up all but 4 of the buttons and tried to get her to be consistent with obvious Yes – No questions. She didn’t do very good for them, but when I asked her to push “Good-bye” she hit it with no hesitation. If I didn't know better I would say that Autumn was jerking their chains. 

I got the shingles replaced that were damaged on the wind... took about 2 hours. 

I had promised to take the kids that did their chores to the park... Mike and Christian stayed home... Mike wasn't feeling good ... he said... I went to the Post Office I bought them some soda's at the Acton Market. We finally made it to the park. ..They played hard for almost 2 hours Calie and Monica raced round and round on their scooters. Cindy and Autumn played together, Cindy was very good with Autumn... they played Tag and Hide-n-Seek and played on the slide, Cindy never complained and Autumn laughed a lot... When it started to get dark we went to Wienerschnitzel and  picked up some hotdogs and we stopped at McDonalds and grabbed some hamburgers for the boys and went home.  

(Autumn is walking all over the place)

Thursday     December 28, 2000

… More cleaning today... trying to make the house presentable... Christy is feeling a little sick... sinus trouble I think... I went to Acton Market and got her some Sudafed... doesn't seem to help. I got the house pretty well done but the kids have managed to undo everything I did. 

"B" is pretending to be sick... talking real high in his throat to sound like it is sore, but it goes away when he gets mad at Christian...  walking with his head down... no fever... it is a pretty pathetic performance. Wonder what he is trying to accomplish... why would anyone pretend they are sick when they are on vacation.

If thou thinkest twice before thou speakest once, thou wilt speak twice the better for it.