September 99

Wednesday September 1, 1999

Damn, weeks half gone and I am really disoriented… seems like Monday to me for some reason. I took the Bucking Fuick into the “Pit Stop” to get the oil changed, I did the van last week and the LRC yesterday. Christy’s car, the afore mentioned Buick, has been behaving badly… on the freeway it gives the impression that the tires are out of balance, then that stops and the steering wheel seems to chatter, then that stops and it pulls to the left… I took it in to the kids at Affordable Tire and they showed me that the tie rods were in pathetic shape… I left the car and started walking home, only about 2 ½ miles, but it’s up hill, at noon, and it was hot, so I hitched a ride with Dan-the-Bus-Drivin’-Man, Autumn’s school bus driver. I walked back down there about 15:30 with Calie and DaMoke, The kids were about done with the car when we got there. I paid the 261 bucks and went to Agua Dulce to pick up Cindy at Sheryl’s. The car it ran like it was on tracks… really a nice ride… just like new…

Thursday September 2, 1999

Christy took Mike to The Russian today… we moved our appointment to Thursday’s at 10:00.  I think The Russian is mellowing out a little, perhaps it is dawning on her that Christy and I aren’t complete idiots or perhaps she senses that the Mike’ster is a more complex being than her text books were able to prepare her for… When we first started visiting her she was pretty sure of her diagnosis (Bi-Polar disorder) and I think she may be right but he is also a “Drug Baby”, he was born addicted to virtually every drug known to man, his mommy was a real piece of work… he has learning disabilities, depression, Attention Deficit Hyper-Activity Disorder, he has been diagnosed with several other “disorders” some diagnosis’s were right and some wrong… He is hard to categorize.

He is also a hard worker, a loyal and compassionate friend, a gifted - passionate athlete… and my son. We loose sight of that sometimes… he is a good boy most of the time… it’s too bad we have to focus on the bad stuff so much…

I watched the kids, Christy got home with Mike about 14:30

Friday September 3, 1999

Today was a long day, not sure why, it just was… Christy had an appointment with one of her Foster Parents as an Advocate at an IEP in East Lancaster… The kids and I cleaned house and went to the 76 Station for Ice Cream. Christy came home pretty incredulous about the lady she was advocating for… I bit of a loony-toon.

I took the boys to the Mall to get replacements for “PlayStation” CD’s that "B" bit last spring. It’s a long story, suffice to say if the games had belonged to Mike instead of Mikes friend Ben I would have just written them off as an object lesson.  Christy took the girls, she has a friend who is having a “Reaffirmation of Marriage Vows” Ceremony after 30 years of marital bliss. (The lady who smashed her toes Tuesday, one is broken). Autumn is going to be the Flower Girl, which will be something to behold. Autie will either stop at every pew and stare or so screeching down the aisle in her walker at full tilt… I am supposed to take a video of this fandango… ugh. I’m not much of a church person, churches make me up-tight. I have become disaffected by organized religion, not sure why, not sure when, I just am. I think that the concept that there is a right way and a wrong way to believe in God is where I get hung up. I have mentioned this before I think, not really a fitting subject to discuss here…

"B" took after Mokie with a carving knife, he was mad and told Christy he wanted to cut her.  He told me he just wanted to threaten her… Later he went into his room and tied some twine around his feet and then around the top bunk, he thought he would be able to hang by his feet so he yelled at Mike to “Watch Me!” and dove head first off the dresser, the twine didn’t do a damn thing but ensure that he landed on his head… He thought he would impress Mike and Christian I think. Christy and I thought he was trying to kill himself for a while… "B" is a real trial

Saturday September 4, 1999

…Lumpy and "B" stayed with me again while Christy took the rest to church… We went to Cost-Co to get some stuff to eat… We haven’t done any shopping in quite a while, the larder is almost bare. The boys were pretty good, when we got home we unloaded the car and about the time we finished, Christy got home with the rest of the kids. About this time "B" got a bit strange, he went after Cindy for no discernable reason, Cindy can be pretty hard to take too at times but he went a little overboard and punched her in the nose, I sent him to his room and he called me something under his breath, I told him not to slam the door and he looked me straight in the eye and slammed it as hard as he could. He unfortunately has the ability to jerk my chain, I don’t know how he does it but he has the power to really make me angry, it’s like his antics are so outrageous that he blind sides me . I went into his room and hauled him out to my desk and told him to sit under it, it’s an old roll-top desk and there is a large recess under it where he can sit, I just wanted him in time-out for a while till we both cooled down… Mike came by and said “Dad, do you see what "B" is doing?” I looked and he had a piece of wire and was scratching profanities into the desk.  I had to go get Christy, I was too mad to deal with him…

I took all the kids down to check out the fence at Acton and Meadowlark School, They post the “who goes where list” on the fences. Mike Cindy and "B" are all in the same class so that is simple, I think they need to be assigned regular teachers for Activities but they weren’t listed any where but RSP, they were disappointed, it is their link to normalcy and it seems a little insensitive to have left them off… more fuel to stoke my resolve to get past these people… Calie has Mrs. Wright who is a nice lady, she used to run/manage the Red Rover Pre-School. Christian has Mrs. Nichols who Mike says is mean… I think he was just torqueing Lumpy though… Mokie has a new teacher called Mrs. Scott, no one seems to know who she is…

Sunday September 5, 1999

 Well Grandma and grandpa showed up at about noon to sit the kids, and Christy, Cindy, Calie Autumn and I took off for the Church for the Re-Marriage Ceremony of Larry and Bonnie Page, they have six adopted kids too. I was in charge of doing the video and I think I did ok, far from professional but I got the gist of the thing.  Autumn was a hit as the Flower Girl. She was supposed to walk down the aisle and spew rose petals from a basket wired to the front of her walker. She tripped about three feet down the aisle and did all her spewing in one fell spew. Bonnies daughter picked the petals up and put them back in the basket and they continued down the aisle.  When Autie came by me she smiled like she was having the best time of her life…

The ceremony was sweet. After the service they came into the hall and everyone had a bubble blower and blew bubbles at them… kind of a nice idea… rice can hurt if thrown with too much energy, and it make a big mess. We had given them a night out at the local Holiday Inn. They haven’t had a night out together since 1989.

The highlight of the whole affair for me was when she went to feed him a bite of cake with the traditional last minute lunge to smoosh it into his face she forgot to remove the serving knife from beneath the cake and stabbed him in the left cheek. It was a genuine “Funniest Home Video’s” moment.

Action and faith enslave thought, both of them in order not to be troubled or inconvenienced by reflection, criticism and doubt.

-Henri Frederic Amiel-

Monday September 6, 1999

…Labor Day, it was a laid back day… I have been wrestling with this damn’d PC, I have no idea what’s wrong… appears to be some sort of interrupt problem … Grrrr

Tuesday September 7, 1999

…Today is the first day of school. Christy and I got all the kids ready and I went out and the Buick had a flat tire. I started the compressor and got it round again and it was holding air after 10 minutes so I piled the kids into the car and we went to school… the kids were all excited so we left about 20 minutes early… I stopped at the Shell station and took the car through the car-wash to kill some time.

We have decided that "B" will stay home. We really can’t take the chance of him hurting someone. His temper is even more volatile than last year… and he’s getting bigger and stronger.

Christy is giving “D” rate training today so "B" and I are in charge of getting Autumn ready for school…

I told Christy that when she got home I wanted to just go out by myself… I didn’t get out when I wanted to so I only got about 45 minutes of “Me” time… not enough… only made me wish I had more time…

I picked up kids, DaMoke was running the show when I got there. Mokie seems to be pretty bored with it all, I hope they can keep her challenged and busy enough to keep her interested.

After picking up DaMoke at Meadowlark School I went to get the big kids…Calie was mad because I didn’t go to her classroom to pick her up. I would have but I only have 10 minutes from when Mokie gets out till when Acton School gets out.

It was my turn to take Christian to Dr. Doan. We had a good session and decided that we would not add any medication to Christian’s regimen but we did re arrange the dosage.

I needed to run to Best-Buy after the Dr. visit. I noticed a puddle of coolant under the car but thought little of it. When I got into the Best Buy Parking lot I realized the coolant was from the LRC. There was a tear in the radiator hose and it was out of coolant completely…I called AAA and went into the store and bought a UPS for the PC, just to see if that helps it stay up…

The tow truck driver got there in about 30 minutes. Lumpy and I had to ride in the car because he had a helper in the cab.  It was a tilt bed tow truck so we rode about 10 feet high, Lumpy got a real kick out of it… so did I. I was going to have it towed to Acton but I asked if there was a place open that could replace the hose and he said the only place open was Pep Boys, it is open till 21:00. We got there at 2010. I haven’t been to Pep Boys in 30 years, don’t know why, just haven’t…. The manager at the counter said they could get it done so Christian and I went across the street for Chinese food. We brought it back so that we would be there when the care was done, they closed in 35 minutes.  The manager was a huge guy named Cecil, when the mechanic that worked on my car came in I noticed that his name was Cecil too. The only other Cecil I have ever met in 56 years is my uncle, and here were two of them…(To paraphrase Mason Williams, That was dull, but since I have restricted myself to telling the truth you have to expect to be bored occasionally) . We got home about 2130.

One observation. There was never a moment when I was upset or even concerned during the whole affair, this little incident would have had some negative effect on me 5 years ago. I would have been a little agitated at least…tonight, it was just an opportunity for Lumpy and I to hang out and talk… that’s all, I enjoyed the whole thing… even paying Cecil was a pleasurable experience.

Wednesday September 8, 1999

…Got everybody moving a little early today because we decided that the whole family needed to be at the adoption ceremony. $600.00 and 4 and a half years of waiting and we finally get to adopt Mike. We needed to be there at 0830 and took off a little late, luckily we caught a tail wind and made it there on time, I let Chris and Mike off in the parking lot and went to park the van. I took the other six kids and went searching for the courthouse (Sounds funny but there are about six courthouses in the complex… After asking directions about four times I found the right place and it turns out that it is on the second floor of the Criminal Courthouse. It would have been amusing taking 6 kids, Autumn’s walker, 2 camera’s, a cell-phone, three backpacks full of god knows what through the most secure doorway in the Antelope Valley on any other day but it was now 0845 and the metal detector was set to pick up the fillings in my teeth. We were another 10 minutes getting past the guards… We made it up there creating quite a spectacle in the process. We only had to wait about 10 more minutes. We went in and sat down. The Bailiff seemed pretty grim until I realized he had Cerebral Palsy. He was a real nice guy, very helpful.

I guess if you have to work in the legal profession, there are worse places than working the Adoptions Court. The whole process only took about 15 minutes; the judge had a problem with the fact that our lawyer wasn’t there. Our Lawyer is Mr. Ackerman and he is about 85 and lives in Orange County, about 100 miles south of here…  Christy thinks that he was a little surprised that after paying the lawyer $600 he should find a way to show up. The proceedings concluded, we signed papers and took pictures. And were on our way back to Acton by 0915. Calie was a little put out that she missed school.  Also, in truth, $250 of the $600 was what we paid to another lawyer who had a stroke and moved to Virginia. I think he just forgot about us.

When I picked up the kids at Acton School Calie started a fight with Cindy…right in front of school.  I had to pull them apart before I could even get the car started. When I got home the girls started in again and "B" had to get involved too… so predictable…Wanted to take the family out to celebrate Mikes adoption but that didn’t work out,  I took Mike, Mokie, Autumn and Christian to Pizza Hut… they were the only ones that were behaving.

I bought Mike a nice watch at Wall-Mart. I wanted to buy him something to commemorate the day…

Thursday September 9, 1999

…Christy had meetings down below and in Palmdale. I got the kids to school and picked them up, I took Calie to her dance. When I picked up Mokie (she doesn’t like that name any more she glares at me and says coldly….My name is Mon’-ick-ah….)  after school today her teacher collared me and said she was having a lot of trouble with her. Mokie is very disruptive in class and very independent and rebellious. She is demonstrating all the characteristics that would be commendable in a CEO but not very appreciated in the first grade.  Christy and I will contact her psychiatrist and see if we can modify her medication. Mokie needs to be able to adjust to school and be attentive enough to get her through the day… especially if she is going to be a CEO someday.

There is no human reason why a child should not admire and emulate his teacher's ability to do sums, rather than the village bum's ability to whittle sticks and smoke cigarettes. The reason why the child does not is plain enough -- the bum has put himself on an equality with him and the teacher has not.

~ Floyd Dell ~

 Christy got home in time for me to go to the monthly gathering of the ROF (Retired Old Farts) http://members.tripod.com/~padagge/index-ROF.html

Friday September 10, 1999

…Between wrangling kids and the phone we didn’t accomplish much. We had calls from Social Workers, Lawyers, the Mediator about the “"B" Dilemma” and it pretty much monopolized the day.

Christy took Cindy and Calie over to Bonnie’s house for the night and I took Mike and "B" to dinner at Don Cuco’s… Christy

Saturday September 11, 1999

…Christy went to teach her Saturday class so it was just Lumpy, "B", Autumn, Mokie and I. Sounds like a lot but it’s really sort of blissful. Whenever I have Autumn that pretty much monopolizes my day… Christy got home without the girls… she will meet Bonnie and the Cindy and Calie at Thousand trails with all the kids so they can swim and cavort a bit…

I cleaned out the MotorMonster…. I think I have made a significant dent in the mouse population… I set some more traps… I’ll see what happens.   I took the beast down and got it filled up. The deep-cell batteries don’t seem to want to hold a charge I am charging them again tonight I may have to get some new ones…

The big story when Christy got home was that “"B" Drowned!!!” not really but apparently he got pretty scared, He can’t swim and got away from the edge and panicked. He yelled for help and everyone thought he was joking, everyone but Cindy who screamed for help and let everyone know he wasn’t kidding, Lumpy heard her screams and ran all the way from the other side of the pool where he was playing miniature golf to get to "B", he got there at the same time an adult got there. The two kids that “hate” "B" the most were the ones that tried to save him… odd

Sunday September 12, 1999

…Sunday is “Couch Potato Day”… I watched the Packers steal a game from the Raiders this morning… excellent game, and watched Andre Agassi pull himself out of tough match with Todd Martin this afternoon. I have no idea what Mr. Agassi is like on a personal level but his public persona is a class act.

I tried to watch the Browns because those fans in Cleveland deserve a contender but I think they are a write-off this year…Drew Cary introduced the team… he’s a class act too, in a crude sort of way. I fell asleep about 10 minutes into the first quarter the score was 20-0. the game ended with Steelers 43 Browns 0. I took Mike, Calie, Autumn & Monica out to get donuts I brought donuts home for the other kids who were still asleep. I tried to clean the house and almost had it done but the kids trashed it before I could finish so I did some handyman stuff, fixed the crappy little file cabinet I bought at IKEA for Christy. It looks good but is poorly designed… I had to brace up the sides so you could open it without the pulling the front of the drawer off. If you look close it is a pretty unglamorous job but “works better than it did” as my Dad would have said. I put a piece of plexi-glass on the screendoor because the kids can’t seem to resist pushing on the screen instead of the door and I’m tired of fixing it.

It is 2140 and I am still trying to get some of the kids to bed Mokie and Lumpy are Calie just woke Christy up to “Tuck me in Mommy”. She got a pretty frosty response… understandably. If she is true to form she will come to me in about 15 minutes with a “Tuck me in Daddy” I was wrong… it was “Daddy, can you move Autumn to her bed… she takes up too much room.” Autumn will fit into one leg of my trousers with room to spare…

Well I have to run down too the Liquor Store (Only place open) and get some milk for the morning or I’ll have a revolt on my hands…

The picture above is of my sister’s home in Arizona…

for no particular reason other than I think it’s a pretty neat house…

Above is my Niece, Holly with her newest son, Nate (Nathaniel)… I just like the picture…

I didn’t get anyone’s permission to post these pictures so they may come down at a moment’s notice.

Statistics are used as a drunk uses lampposts—

for support, not illumination.

- Unknown -

Monday                                September 13, 1999

…Christy went to another IEP. I am trying to remember what happened Monday, it is now Wednesday and I haven’t had/taken a minute to work on this since Sunday.

Return spring for the hydraulic leveler on the right front of the MotorMonster broke, it’s one of a pair of what look like 12” long garage door springs. 

I got the Journal on the Net, I received more than the usual number of responses to it today…don’t know why… it is odd that people react to different things, I received about ten e-mails and one phone call, no two were about the same thing…

Tuesday                                September 14, 1999

…Christy is teaching at AV College today. I took Cindy and Christian to the dentist with "B" and Autumn. Not fun… The anti-sway bar bushing fell popped out of it’s bracket where it mounts to the frame on the van, of course I didn’t know that at the time, it sounded like the whole front end was going to fall off. The kids at Affordable Tire diagnosed the trouble in about 30 seconds and fixed it temporarily by putting the old one back where it belonged and ordered two new bushings for me. Today really sucked and I can’t really remember why… it just did, I was grumpy all day and I didn’t even like being around me very much.

Cindy had a traumatic couple of minutes. I took the girls to Wall-Mart to buy socks, we wandered around looking for where they hid the socks and Cindy strayed away. Calie and Monica and I went searching for her and after about 3 minutes I heard a page “Will Pete please come to pick up his daughter, Cindy, at checkout counter number 25” We went over there and she was in tears, she was absolutely terrified… she is 11.  Cindy has some trouble relating to the big wide world. I am being a little flip but it is a real problem. Cindy has a hard time adjusting to change… any change. If she is walking from the kitchen to the bedroom, don’t say “Hey Cindy”… she will trip and fall. It is scary to me sometimes and it must be scary to her all the time. Cindy’s problems are yet to be completely diagnosed…

Wednesday      September 15, 1999

… Christy had to go to an all day meeting down the other side of LA. I dropped the kids off at school and went up to the house to wait for the bus, I cleaned a bit but not much… Autumn is pretty demanding and "B" isn’t much of a resource for getting things done. We drove over to the “Youngs RV” to buy some new springs for the MotorMonster, then we went to Wall-Mart to buy some sundries, I had some time to kill so I picked up a lot of stuff. When we got to the check out line everyone was just standing around. A lady came on the loud speaker and said that “because of the weather” the computers are down. The only “weather” in the country is the Hurricane in the east coast, I figured their system wouldn’t be back up for a while so I left my cart and went to get the kids at school…

Thursday                             September 16, 1999

…Christy is at a planning meeting at AV College till noon, so I had to take Mike, "B" & Autumn to Canyon Country for Mikes visit with the Russian. This will be the last one for about a month.

I got Mike to School and roared up the hill to get Autumn ready for the bus, as soon s the bus left I took "B" to AV college to meet Christy who is taking "B" to therapy in Lancaster.

Since it is “Minimum Day” for the big kids I had to high-tail it back to Acton to pick them up at 1300

We went home and commenced the ritual search for Calie’s dance class we finally find all the paraphernalia. Christy got home with "B" and I got Calie to dance about 2 minutes late.

I went on from dance to wall-Mart to get the stuff I couldn’t get yesterday… I asked and they said that the registers were down for two and a half hours… it surprises me that Wall-Mart doesn’t have a backup system…

Christy picked up Calie at dance, I almost beat her home

I put the return springs on the Hydraulic lifts.  What a pain, I don’t like doing a job when I know there is a secret tool or secret procedure, there are two springs, 12 inches long that hook into a bracket on the foot and are held at the top by a piece of steel wire with an “eye” on each end. I finally figured out that I needed to hook one spring to the foot, hook that spring to the wire, hook the “Come-along” to the spring, hook the other end of the wire to the other spring, stretch the spring with the come-along till I could attach the other end of the second spring to the other side of the foot. It was actually not too bad but it took a while to figure it all out.

Worked on PC till 01:45

Friday                                    September 17, 1999

…We had a stressful morning, the pressure to do something with "B" is getting to us, there seem to be so many obstacles in our path. "B" isn’t making things any easier either. He is very resentful and that is understandable, he really doesn’t understand why he isn’t going to school and the bottom line is… we can’t/won’t let him. From a distance the argument could be made that we are depriving him of an education, we could be made to look like pretty bad parents.  Christy and I thought this would be resolved by now, legally we have to get him in school, We are going to try to “home school” him, Christy went and bought the books we need. It is such a joke.

Dan-the-bus-drivin’-man wanted to know why "B" wasn’t in school… I had to really work to convince him that the problem wasn’t "B"’s education the problem is the whole "B", he said “The school can provide him with a full time aide, AKA a “Shadow”, I explained that couldn’t care less if "B" can add 2+2, or read “See Spot Run”. I don’t want a call saying that "B" stabbed someone in the ear with a pair of scissors and the parents are going to “…sue you for every penny you have.” Or… something even worse. I think I finally convinced him that the "B" he used to know 5 years ago is not improving, he is getting worse and his environment is what is hurting him. Christy and I can’t help him and either can the Acton School, he needs… more… a lot more.

Well I did get one thing accomplished, the stabilizer bar bushings are installed… Also I fixed my printer problem, feel like a real boob, the scanner and the printer are in line and tha scanner had come unplugged somehow that made the printer think there was no paper… and I think re-loading Windows 98,Update may have fixed my crashing problem…I have my fingers crossed, makes typing difficult but, so far so good…

Saturday                              September 18, 1999

… Calie was going to dance at 2 PM and I wanted to see the Stealth do a fly by, so,…I took Calie and "B" to the Sweetwater Fair Parade The Parade started about 20 minutes late with the LAPD Motorcycle Drill Team. Lots of sirens, screeching tires and flashing lights, they managed to get through the whole affair without slamming into one another, I have to admit, they were pretty flashy. There is a lot of money in Agua Dulce (aka, Sweetwater) so there was what seemed to be an interminable procession of restored antique automobiles There must have been 50 Model T’s alone all of them beautiful but I was pretty much sated by the 10th or 15th.

All of the participants were throwing fistfuls of candy at the kids. In less than 15 minutes they had about a bushel of the stuff. Incidentally, I did make note of the coincidence that one of the more professional floats was sponsored by the local dentist, I thought that was sort of appropriate.

Calie came up to me and whined “I’m thirsty Daddy, I want some soda.” I said “Sure, in a minute” and then I looked at her and she collapsed.  She didn’t “faint dead away” but she was defiantly not well. I picked her up and carried her to the Grocery store that was directly behind us, getting her out of the heat and having her drink a Gatorade made her feel better in about 15 minutes… I still feel guilty…she was affected by the heat so fast it took me by surprise, It frightened me actually. I think she may have had a touch of flu.

I took her home and wouldn’t let her go back to the dance, she didn’t protest very much so I guess it was for the best.

Christy took the rest of the kids to church, Cindy got sick so she had to bring everyone home.

Mike went over to Jessie’s house to spend the night.

Sunday                        September 19, 1999

…I went down with Calie and Monica to get donuts, the 76 Station was out of them so we went to town and bought “Entenmanns” not the same but… I tried to watch some football but it was hopeless, I guess I could have done it but there was just too much going on, I will try Monday Night Football tomorrow …

I watched a Movie on DirectTV, first time in a couple months, a Mel Gibson shoot-em-up where all the characters were bad guys including Mel Gibson… I enjoyed it…”Shakespeare in Love” is on too, I will try to watch it tomorrow.

Sometimes you can observe a lot by watching.

-Yogi Berra-

 Monday September 20, 1999

…Christy had a meeting at church, when she got back she picked up "B" for a meeting with the Neurologist and stopped by school to pick up Cindy for an appointment with the Psychiatrist. After I put Autumn on the bus I had three and a half hours to myself… I went to Denny’s and had a bowl of spicy sludge (the menu said Chili) with an old friend Laslo Eislie. He’s quite a character, he lost both legs below the knee in about 1966 to a circulatory problem and walks on artificial legs with a distinctive gait. I used to go dirt-bike riding with him practically every weekend from about 1970 till 1984. After I broke my wrist in ’78 I sort of phased myself out of dirt-bikes but he didn’t… he turned 61 this year and is still a formidable dirt-bike rider.

 Tuesday September 21, 1999

…We got word the Mediation Hearing is on for Thursday… I firmly believe we are in the in the right and I think we have enough supporting documentation to persuade the mediator that the Acton School District needs to release "B". I just wish we could mail it in or something. Battling bureaucrats is never any fun, the smart ones and the dumb ones use the system to beat you down. I hope the mediator is experienced enough to see through the tap-dancing. I am very upset with the Acton School Administration (In case you hadn’t noticed). I have been giving them the benefit of the doubt for years and in most instances they have deserved a second look. Working in the school system is a thankless task, there is no way to make all the people happy all the time, hard decisions have to be made but I never expected them to put financial considerations ahead of a child.

We also learned yesterday that according to their own rules and regulations the Acton Agua Dulce School District is on the hook for providing the money for "B"’s education, no matter where he is sent to school. I thought that the way the Golita District was whining that would have to pay. So, the Acton School will not only lose the SED money they get for teaching him, they will have to pay another district to boot. I don’t suppose that fact had any impact on their decision to try to keep him on their books… naw, “"B" is such a sweet little boy, I know we can teach him here at the Acton School” damn…

 Wednesday September 22, 1999

…Preparation for the mediation hearing is preoccupying Christy and me today.

Mike and Christian are addicted to a game called Pokémon. It is a major blitz aimed at kids it’s a Nintendo Game. they have movies, a TV show trading cards, magazine’s. The boys are really banana’s about it. They have emersed themselves in Pokémon for weeks. It seems pretty harmless but I get anxious when I can’t understand anything they say.

…Well, we met our two lawyers Beth and Leslie at 0830, they are adorable by the way… The meeting was supposed to start at 0900 but they wanted to meet with us early to review everything. We showed them what we had prepared and they were impressed, we talked some more and it was quarter after nine… I went to the office and found out from the principal that the meeting was moved to 1000.

Candice, the Mediator arrived promptly at 1000 and we went through all the formalities and each side made an opening statement. I completely misunderstood the role of the Mediator, She has no decision-making powers at all, all she can do is try to devise a way for us to agree… it was a stalemate from the git-go. It was all pretty cut and dry, Mr. Lorenz, Dir. of Special Education, said that they were aware of the probability that "B"’s current placement wasn’t the optimum but that didn’t mean that Residential care should be the only consideration. Since there was a wide array of services available in the combined district of over 120 schools there was no end to the services they could provide for "B", since none of these services have been applied to "B"’s education it is unfair to him to send him to the restrictive environment of Residential Treatment facility. They could have said NO! and we could have all gone home but the mediator drug it out for about 8 hours.  The bottom line is that they don’t want to spend the money, "B"’s needs are irrelevant. That became clear when our Social Worker made the statement that DCFS would pay for everything, all the school had to do was say Residential care is the recommended placement, when he heard that the main man Mr. Lorenz, , said  (I am paraphrasing) …if that is true then he was “sure that they could come up with wording on the IEP that would satisfy everyone”. We questioned the Social workers statement and he went to check with his superiors and returned to sat he was mistaken and that DCFS will pick up the expense for Residential care and treatment but not for education, the cost of education would be the burden of the School District of Origin i.e.: Acton until July of 2000, at which time Santa Barbara will pick up the tab. At which point they said (I am paraphrasing again) Well, if that’s the case, they were sorry but there were just too many obstacles, we were asking them to jump from Public Schooling to 24 Hour Residential Care there were many steps that needed to be taken before they possibly consider residential care… County Mental health will have to contacted appointments made, there will be evaluations, analyses, recommendations for alternative treatments and therapies tried. Mrs. W. even said, Jokingly, “It’s about a 50 step process”, … Blah Blah Blah….In other words parents, take your Psychiatrists, Lawyers, Social Workers and piss off, we’ll see you in court…. Damn.

The Bureaucrats, and, sorry, that is what they are, were sitting there smugly behind their rhetoric of “Least restrictive environment”, “Meeting expectations academically”, “Modified Behavior Plan”. They will lose this war but they will fight every battle because, …we may give up, we may move, the law might change who knows, they have absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain by delaying the inevitable. This will drag out for maybe another year…. I am really angry with them but ultimately hamstrung, Every day that goes by, "B" is retreating further and further into himself and away from us. Every day of delay makes treatment more difficult and time consuming and diminishes the likelihood that we will get him back at all.

When it became clear they weren’t going to budge, we asked which of the myriad of special services mentioned in their opening statement were they were willing to provide "B" in the interim, answer… Nada…Zippo… Bupkiss

Another factor to consider in all this is the fact that if we don’t send him back to school soon they will send a Marshal out to the house to get him. They can file a complaint that we are withholding him from his State and Federally mandated education.

They will not offer us any services, they will not modify his IEP they will not provide an aide, they will not assume complete liability for anything he might do, they will not do a damn thing but put him back in the same class with the same teacher.

Friday September 24, 1999

…"B"’s Birthday … he is 10 today. Christy, "B", Autumn and I went to Hollywood Kaiser Hospital for Orthopedic re-assessment… She is going to get braces and some daily living type occupational therapy…Christy went shopping for "B"’s birthday and I watched the kids after school. We took them all to Chuck E. Cheese’s they had a ball… "B" had a good time… he loves that place, I think he wants to live there.

  Saturday September 25, 1999

…Christy got Baptized today, I am not sure what possessed her to be re-baptized but she was pretty excited about it… it is hard for me to relate to but I respect her convictions. I was baptized an Episcopalian 56 years ago, it was my parent’s decision and I have no reason to diminish their conviction either. I rather enjoyed being an Episcopalian, not a lot of physical demands. I tried to go back but all the hugging and friendly pretension sort of put me off.  I think that if I could find another old Episcopal Church where I can go in and sit back and reflect on the week and ponder my relationship with eternity with out a lot of social obligations inflicted into the mix I may give it a go again. When did it become hard to distinguish Church from a Club Med first day mixer. I think I prefer sitting among the Sequoias sometimes I suspect that I find God in Nature more easily than in Church.

I saw the Shuttle come in to Lockheed’s plant on top of a 747… It was pretty impressive.

Sunday September 26, 1999

… We all piled into the van and drove to Pat & Mikes house in Fontana today to celebrate Holly and Dan’s oldest son, Donavan’s third birthday. The kids were absolute brats all the way over and all the way back but they behaved pretty well while we were there.

Pat’s son Billy was visiting too. Billy will be heading back to Germany soon, I think he is considering a third tour. He may be reading this so I have to mention I hope that if he has any affinity for the Air Force at all that he stays aboard. I can only speak from my own perception and how I think I would handle things.  I am not exactly an adventurous soul. I always chose the tried and true when it came to the larger life decisions. I can escape into my weekend adventures on the dirt-bikes or walks in the mountains. There are lots of people out there who have taken a lot of risks and some have led rich full lives and been the better for it…but some weren’t. I had been working for the Fone Phactory for about a year and was really struggling to learn my job and earn some respect… it all seemed like a long tedious pain in the ass. My boss was ok but his boss was a born-again-asshole and seemed to take personal gratification in spoiling my day every chance he got. I was about to quit and go try something else and I called my dad to have him help me think it through. I told him my woes and he said. It takes at least two years to learn any job… stick it out for two years and if you still don’t like it … quit. I stuck it out for thirty. After two years I was locked in… the prospect of starting again was just too worrisome. There were time when I was a Telephone man and I loved my job and times when I was a dirtbike rider who worked at the Phone Company to make enough money to keep riding. And times when it was just a part of me… looking back I have no regrets… I didn’t get rich but I had a good steady job and got a pretty good retirement … I really can’t complain. I think that about the only place in America you can take a job and keep it for thirty years anymore is the military…

We left Autumn’s walker in Fontana… I’ll have to get over there and pick it up and get back before Autumn’s school starts at 11:45…

Monday,         September 25 2000

… Christy had a meeting at the college at noon so we were home together with Autumn this morning… After I got the kids to school I came home and tried to catch up on my correspondence, I am way behind… I didn’t make much headway. The van has a coolant leak, I have to take it in tomorrow or the next day… it’s the only vehicle that can carry all of us…I got Autumn to school on time. Acton School called at about 1400 to come get Calie, she had gotten sick to her stomach and barfed in class… I called Christy to go get her because I had to get ready to go get the little girls at Meadowlark…

 I got upset with the harsh drug policy being enforced by the IOC… the little gymnast who got her medal taken away because her team doctor gave her the equivalent of a “Contact”. Ridiculous! Then the sanctimonious fascists released a drug test from four months ago accusing Marion Jones’s husband, C. J., of testing positive for a banned substance, and they waited until the day before her race… he isn’t even in the Olympics, he has an injured knee. My kids can’t take Chap-stick to school because it has been deemed a “medication” the world is getting crazy.

Mikes coach called again tonight… he wanted to know if we had found a video he had loaned Mike 3 weeks ago… I have maybe 500 to 1000 videos and 6 kids to strew them all over the house… I can’t find the damn thing anywhere. He also wanted to complain to me about Mikes negative attitude… he is cussing too much on the field in practice… his insubordination… on and on… Mike has a ‘tude, always has, probably always will… He hates practice but he is always up for the game … I am not sure what I want to do about him… I feel like I am watching helplessly while Mike throws his tallent into a cesspool. Very few people have been blessed with athletic gifts that Mike possesses… he is only 12; he has no clue what he is throwing away. His coach is not Knute Rockne, I would have a hard time with him too, but he is “The Coach”… you learn to deal with the straw you draw or you drop out… Mike wants to drop out… I suspect his coach wants him to quit too. There was one guy who could handle him, an English fella with a red face and white hair… Mike liked him a lot… I had hopes he would be coaching and pick Mike for his team… but he decided not to coach this year. Mike is a big problem to me… I just don’t know how to motivate him.

 "A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject."

Winston Churchill.

 Tuesday          September 26, 2000

…We talked to "B" today… we will pick him up on Friday… It is his (real) birthday today… we had forgotten…When we first got "B" they told us his birthday was September 29^th, then they changed it to October 1^st, then a about 2 years later we were told his birthday was actually October 10^th… then when we started adoption proceedings we discovered there was no Birth Certificate in file so they contacted his mother who had left the dad and moved to Baja… she brought his original Birth Certificate and we found that his official, real, actual birthday was September 26th

Wednesday   September 27, 2000

…I got Autumn to PT/OT on time today…

 Christian Soccer, Mike got a “Razor” (Skateboard with a handle on it)

Adults are obsolete children

Dr. Seuss

humorist, illustrator, and author

(1904-1991)

 Thursday        September 28, 2000

… I pulled up to the front of Acton School, after dropping of Mike and Mokie at their respective schools, Lumpy and Calie had put their backpacks in the bed of the pick-up, watched in the rear view mirror as Calie climbed over the gate to get hers I saw her wave as she jumped off, I didn’t see Lumpy so I assumed he was done and started to pull away and simultaneously I saw a car pull in front of me and Lumpy on the side rail of the truck going ass over tea-kettle when I hit the breaks. I was doing about 2 mph and I stopped instantly but it scared me to death… Damn… he was fine but he hit the curb with his thigh and it hurt… he started to cry. I could tell that he had figured out that this was a cool way to get out of school and he milked it for all it was worth… there was no way I was going to force him to go to school after 50 people saw him fall off the back of the truck. I took him with me to Meadowlark and met Christy and Autumn for our informal meeting with Miss Raineri. We had a good meeting with her, we all seem to be on the same wavelength. Christy took Autumn and Christian home and I went to the bank (Albertson’s Supermarket) to make a deposit…

  The ATM was broken... figures… Back in the “good old days” I would have scheduled about an hour and a half to go to the bank, find a parking place, fill out a deposit slip, wait in a long slow moving line, sign the checks, get a receipt and some cash back. Get back in the car and then go get some coffee or something. Going to the bank was a big deal...now-a-days I allot about ten minutes to banking… all the signing and adding is already done you walk up to the ATM and in about two minutes you’re out'a there… but the ATM was broken… twelve miles to the next nearest ATM and twelve miles back. The other four errands I had planned to run are out the window. I feel anxious and defeated, It is beginning to dawn on me that all these modern timesaving conveniences only raise our expectations to an impossible level and make our day more hectic. Cell phones, microwaves, ATM’s, Pay-at-the-pump, ad-infinitum.

 Acton School called as soon as I got home… Calie was sick, barfed all over her classroom. Christy went to pick her up and took her to the Dr … she is fine, The Dr prescribed some Robitussin may as well pour it in the sink, she won’t touch it.  (Incidentally, Christian was jumping on the trampoline, leg wasn’t too sore for that)

 I picked up the kids at the regular time, Autumn was expecting Mom and a little disappointed… I have been elevated in her esteem to a place somewhere above the cats but not very far above them. Mom is still the single most important person in her life… Calie will miss soccer practice but Mokie had hers from 1700 to 1800. Luckily Christy and Calie were home by then… Christy brought all the kids down to practice at 1730 and took Cindy to see Dr. Boroya the new Psychologist. He modified her medication, she is getting more oblivious and infantile, I am getting more concerned, sometimes it’s almost like she is regressing… and then sometimes she seems just fine. Cindy is still an enigma to me… it’s like drying to deal with three different people…

 Friday              September 29, 2000

… Calie barfed again this morning; she has a low fever so we kept her home… Christy took Calie with her to pick up "B" at Devereux, I took Autumn to CCS for Therapy and made the house payment and dropped off prescriptions at Kaiser, After Therapy I picked up the medicine and drove Autumn to school, I went back to Palmdale to make the Insurance payment and to get the truck lubed and oil changed… it was packed, I go there because you get a good car-wash with every lube & oil-change. It was packed there, usually I am in and out of there in a half an hour, it was a half hour before they finished the lube and there were fifteen cars ahead of me in the carwash line, so I got a rain check and bailed, I had to pick up Autie and Da Moke (I will not be calling her Da Moke any more, I had a flash of a memory that moke is a real word, I looked it up… a “moke” is an exceptionally ugly horse… who knew…)

Mike had practice tonight, all went well… sort of…his tongue was bloody (figuratively speaking) from biting back all the inappropriate things he wanted to tell his coaches… Mike really struggles with his personality, it’s his worst enemy and he doesn’t know what to do about it (nor do I)

 Saturday         September 30, 2000

…Today started by loading Mike, Christian, Calie, "B" and Monica into the truck to go to Calie and Christian’s soccer games, they were both playing at the same time on different fields. After three or four fitful starts I finally took off, I got about ¾ of a mile from home and realized I had forgotten my wallet so I turned around and went home, I ran into the house and grabbed my wallet and jumped back into the truck, there was still plenty of time so I wasn’t in a big hurry as I drove down the driveway I felt and heard a thump, I looked in the rear view mirror and saw that I had just run over the puppy… the puppy was on the hillside when I drove by, it must have run down the hill as I passed by… Calie and Christian went bananas... "B" got very angry with me, Cindy came out of the house and ran up to the puppy and looked at it and yelled at me… I knew it was dead… it wagged it’s tail a few times, and died ... I put the dog in a box and got the kids out of there as soon as I could… the logistics of getting everyone where they were supposed to be and the games took the kids minds off the puppy… Christian was still devastated but he played a ferocious game of soccer…

 Calie’s team won, Christian’s team tied, Mike refereed an “Under Six” game, they are fun to watch. We went home to find Mikes uniform and got lucky and found it in about 5 minutes… Mike changed in the truck and we made it to his game. Mikes team won a tough game, Mike played defense most of the game he blocked at least 8 potential goals while he was back helping the Goalie. The coach pulled him to Left Wing and they scored a goal almost immediately, Mike was furious…He stole the ball about 5 times but couldn’t get to the goal, finally he got one over the defense to Court and Court scored the winning goal… Christy came down to watch Mokie’s game and Mokie was a dervish as usual, when the coach says “Monica, cover number 8, number eight may as well take a nap because he is covered… Monica is so cool. They won their game 6 –2. I don’t know if Mokie scored any goals because after I handed out snacks I went over to the other field to see Christian play… Christian’s team lost the second game… they were really outplayed…

 When I got home Mike and I dug a hole and buried the puppy, Mike and "B" made a cross for the grave…

 Mike and Calie had gone shopping with Christy… I took "B", Lumpy, Cindy and Autumn to the Video Store to get some movies to watch, I wanted to take them to the theater but there were no PG movies playing, and the PG13 movies were all “boring” love stories they didn’t want to watch… When we got back I backed the truck up against the dumpster and went around to get Autumn. Apparently I didn’t get the lever into park because just as I reached the porch I heard Cindy yelling “Daaadddyyy!!! …The truck is mooooooving!!!!… I put Autumn down in the dirt and ran as fast as I could to the truck but I was too late… I saw that all the kids were safe all I could do is watch as the truck went down the drive way, across the road, missing the power pole, into and out of a ditch and about 20 feet up the hill on the other side before settling back into the ditch…I taught the kids a whole bunch of words I learned in the Navy as I ran down the hill. I looked the truck over and climbed in, it started right up and I was able to get it out of the ditch with no trouble. I took it back up the driveway and got a light to check it out, I couldn’t find any problem except the plate behind the front bumper that protects the transmission was bent…