October week 4
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October week 4
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My only meaningful goal in life is to be remembered for my righting. Monday October 22, 2001 Calie asked me to put the States in Alph-bah-getable Order, She talks so cute... Cindy was on the ragged edge today... got her to school but late... Autumn was late too... I hate that... she gets gigged because Cindy was being ... Cindy... I picked up Monica at 0920 and her and I went to the dentist... she to get a temp crown and me to get a cleaning... I was in that chair for a solid hour... the hygienist pulled enough plaque out of there to build a patio... it has only been three months... I am not a fanatical tooth brusher but I do do a reasonable job... she says some people just have a tendency to get plaque... I am referred to a gum specialist... I need to be able to hold on to the few teeth I have left for as long as I can... things don't look promising. I was thinking that if I had gotten my teeth cleaned every 3 month for the past 50 some odd years I wouldn't be in this mess... I wonder... Mokie is a trooper, she doesn't even whimper in the chair... heard her say Ow a couple times but she never shed a tear... she thinks Novocain is fun, last time she had so much it put her nose to sleep... she thought that was cool. Looks like we're still killing civilians in Afghanistan... a UN Mine Removal headquarters last week, a Bazaar on Saturday.. a Hospital yesterday... over 100 killed per the Taliban, I hope they are lying... past history tells me they aren't, hope I'm wrong... this is not the sort of retribution I want. It makes me sick to my stomach actually... Bush said we are going to hunt down terrorists... wonder when he plans to get started... My count shows 18 dead terrorists... they were flying the planes... So instead of hunting them we are becoming terrorists to the Afghans... I hate that reality... none of the terrorists that blew up the WTC were Afghani... most were Saudi... Bin Laden is a Saudi... Saudis sell us oil... Saudi's are our mouthpiece in OPEC... We can't bomb Saudi's ... soooo we bomb Afghanistan, the poorest country on the face of the earth... shit... where is the honor in that... what next? Saudi's and Iraqi's created Islamic Fundamentalism to keep the peasants in line... now they are reaping the horror they created... they have opened Pandora's Box... I hope we can shut it.
"She had lost the art of conversation but not, unfortunately, the power of speech." - George Bernard Shaw
Tuesday October 23, 2001 ..Frustrating day... got next to nothing of any consequence accomplished, I did get to a movie though... "The Castle"... Robert Redford... I raced to the theater to see this thing and ... damn... it was a poor flick... Dumb story... way too predictable ending... hell it was way too predictable period. Good acting, with a lame script, in a lame story makes for a poor movie...not even worth seeing on video tape unless you shut it off 5 minutes from the end. Mike told us he took his medicine this morning but he didn't... he was acting like an idiot... I mean like a real idiot... it was sorta scary and real irritating... he was just goofy mostly but we couldn't communicate with him at all. At about 1000 he finally admitted he hadn't taken his meds... I took him to therapy and he was just outrageous wish I had videotaped it for Dr. D. ... Wednesday October 24, 2001 ... Christy and Christian had classes at noon and at 1800, she got home at about 2100... (Cute 'toon is from Jerry Miles)
We went to Kaiser... Mike needed an EKG and Autumns blood test... when they pulled up the order there were about 9 slips... I asked Phil (Phil is another story all together) if they can get that much blood out of her... He said "Yeah... that's a lot... let me check with my supervisor"... he came back and said "No we can't take that much blood from her."... so they did half and I'll take her back on Friday... this is all in preparation for her visit with Dr. Nathan, her Neurologist we need to get her off Phenobarbital. Mrs. Gondar, the Principal at Autumn's school. stopped me and said there are sores on Autumns back... we are afraid they may be contagious... .. I said "The marks are scratches... scrapes... She falls down and scrapes her back. She said "We'll need see a Dr.s note stating that she is not contagious." Damn... what's going on now... Love is blind. Friendship is clairvoyant. From Sally Ferris Thursday October 25, 2001 ... Today is about Mike... he woke in a foul mood... Christy managed to get him to take his medicine but it takes a while to take affect. He was teasing Monica unmercifully, poking "B", throwing stuff at Christian... and cussing like a sailor. I went out to the living room to deal with it, I told him to go lie down, he said "No"... I said "Go make yourself some breakfast, do something and quit acting like a jerk." He kept poking "B".. I yelled at him to stop He smiled at me and kept doing it. I took his hand to lead him to the kitchen, he jerked it back and said "Don't Touch Me!" I got a little upset with him for that and yelled "It's OK for you to touch "B" but I can't touch You?" the whole conversation degenerated from there. I mention this because this is the first time he ever pushed me... (Not real effective, I weigh 205... he weighs about 140. He calmed down within about 20 minutes... the miracle's of modern pharmacology finally took effect. Christy took Cindy to school, I took the rest, all I had to do was get Calie, Mokie and "B" to school because Autumn had therapy... but... the phone rang, it was Dr. Dillard to tell me about Autumn's Phenobarbital levels were OK... I coerced her into letting me bring Autumn in to get her back checked out for the school. she is a sweet lady...I took Autumn to therapy... her half hour session was about 25 minutes. I rushed to Kaiser, Dr. Dillard saw me within about 10 minutes... she is a nice person. I got Autumn to school at 10:30... checked her in and handed the Doctors not to Brianna (Autumn's Aide). I got to Mikes Therapy in Saugus about 5 minutes late... I asked the Dr. "What's your plan?" He said "I'd like to see Mike first." I shook my head and said "Well, I think I would like to see you first." I talked about Mikes behavior this morning and the therapist was very supportive... I think he has Mike pretty well pegged... Mike needs contact... any kind of contact... Mrs. Gondar called, she said, "We had the County Nurse come in and look at Autumn, those sores may be contagious, she recommends that you take her to the Doctor" I was taken aback, It took me a moment to figure out what she was talking about... I said "Are there more marks than there were yesterday? She said "Yes" I said "There are more than 4 marks on her back now?" She said "Yes, it appears to be spreading" I said "Then what happened? Scratches don't "Spread". I took her to the Doctor this morning...there was nothing wrong with her except 4, 1/4 inch round scrape marks along her spine." She said something like "Well, we require a note" I said "I left a note with Brianna and Dianne (The secretary)" She said well, I will look for the note and Hung up. I went to Meadowlark right after I picked up Cindy, I took Autumn in the back room and looked at her back... it was the same four scuff marks that were there when I took her to the Doctor and when I dropped her off in the morning... I told Mrs. Gondar that the marks on her back are scratches they are not Impetigo, Ringworm, or cigarette burns... I had to quit talking and walk away... I get tongue tied and feel foolish and ineffective when I lose my temper and try to talk... Friday October 26, 2001 ... I took Autumn to Kaiser to get the rest of her blood-work... this went a lot better than Wednesday... the blood flowed easily and we were out of there in less than 15 minutes. We got a cool reception at Meadowlark, maybe it was just me... I don't know... Got a haircut down in Acton... feel better... my haircuts are few and far between... there was an old gentleman ahead of me must have been in his 90's... he got one of the worst haircuts I have ever witnessed, I got a bit nervous when it was my turn, I had been talking to the barber for about 15 minutes so it was too late to just walk out... It turns out my nervousness was justified... it's a bad haircut... I will have to go somewhere else on Tuesday to get it fixed... I am not normally very particular but this is beyond bad... My head looks silly all the time but it currently also looks lopsided... the back is not trimmed properly like I have a huge lump on the back of my head... Christy actually laughed when she saw it... I and the left side is easily an inch longer than the right... The barber is a nice old fart but he must be going blind or something... Cindy's Halloween dance was tonight, she went as a 50's bobbysoxer she had a good time... The policy is that I have to go inside and pick her up, it's like a dance at a Minimum Security Prison... I took Mike... (Big Mistake) He had ulterior motives... I'm not really sure what they were. He is technically not allowed on the campus... He got busted at the door by the Principal... he talked his way out of it saying he was there to pick up Cindy... he was really pissed. Mike hates me, doesn't want to be around me... he couldn't go to the dance... it is everyone's fault but his... the kid is so out of sync with himself. He scares me... not physically (though I probably should be) but I sense his potential for violence to be virtually unlimited Saturday October 27, 2001 ... Christy is trying to get her church ready for a wedding... she has been gone almost all day... she will be gone most of tomorrow too... It's getting so I have to carry a picture of her with me so that I will be able to recognize her when I see her...
Sunday October 28, 2001 ... I was swapping e-mail with a distant cousin, he got to talking about how the Daggett's are intermingled with families from Tioga County in Pennsylvania... one of the names that he mentioned was Cozart, which changed to Cosart then to Cossart. I worked for a lady named Kathy Ruby (nee Cossart), I lived down the street from her father in El Monte, I was close to her brother Rodney for a while too but we lost contact.. I sent out an e-mail to about 100 people and got some replies back and some ideas how to find Kathy...and made a call to another friend who works with Kathy's husband Mike Rhymer... cool. I am having an e-mail discussion with a fella about Evil... I have no idea what that word means. The dictionary doesn't help, why is everyone else's world so black and white my world so full of shades of gray? Why do I seem to be alone in cringing at the current use of the word by GW and his minions... I have written about this before and I am tired of whistling in the darkness so I will shut up for now... but damn... we are playing a dangerous game, by demonizing our enemy we give him power... it's a mistake. Be master of your petty annoyances and conserve your energies for the big, worthwhile things. It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out - it's the grain of sand in your shoe. Robert Service, poet - writer (1874-1958) Monday October 29, 2001 ... Tuesday October 30, 2001 .. Interesting article I hope someone in power is listening... Autumn got mad at me again this morning... I have no idea what set her off... I turned Barney off? she didn't want to get dressed? I washed her face?... something. I can't get mad at her, I wish I could some times... I get firm, I get up and walk away, I do all the things the books say to do but, it is still tough to take when the person you care the most about in the world lashes out at you... Sorta like having Santa flip you off... <grin> Christy and I will be taking Autumn to the Neurologist today... the appointment is for noon, that will cut it close if we get tied up anywhere. My goal for this visit is to get her off Phenobarb'. Yahoo!!! Well, she starts being weaned off Phenobarbital tonight... it will take 8 weeks to do it, the dosage diminishes 1/2 teaspoon a week, she takes 4 teaspoons a day... if she starts having seizures again I will be very disappointed... The Doctor said that some of Autumns angriness may be the result of Phenobarbital too, those episodes where she just lashes out for no apparent reason... I hope that behavior goes away. I have unreasonably high expectations regarding improvements in her condition I suppose... I am impressed with the Doctor, she is a Hindu everyone calls her Dr. Nathan but her name is really Rani N. Gowrinathan... She seems to really care about Autumn... the last Neurologist she had didn't even seem to see her, he just talked to us... He just kept upping her dosage of Phenobarbital and said come back in a year... now that I know how debilitating Phenobarbital can be I am sort of upset with him. Wednesday October 31, 2001 Halloween
I had Christian and Mike when I took Autumn to therapy... I didn't give Autie her Phenobarbital before therapy today... like last week, just as an experiment...and both the therapists raved about how cooperative she was... amazing... I can't wait to get her off that crap... I took her to school and gave her her medications... then I went up to the house and got the video I left in the re-winder.., I got the car filled with gas and took Christian up to the college for his swimming lesson, dropped off the tape at Albertson's and sped back to Acton School to pick up "B", Mokie and Calie... they had a "Minimum Day"... I got them home and then it was time to get Cindy... , then Autumn... When I got home it was time to get the kids ready for Trick or Treating ... and Christy took Christian to Shoen's so that he could go trick or treating with his family. I took "B" and the girls to the Community Center for the Halloween party... Mike stayed home and went with the Neighbors to a fandango at their church. Christy had a class so she didn't go... she got home about 2230... When we got home from the Community Center the doors were locked... Mike had decided that since it was Halloween that he had better lock up the house ... damn... I lost the keys to this place 12 years ago... I took a screen off and boosted DaMoke through my bedroom window. Halloween is a kid day... Yuck... rather have a root-canal...
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Autumn had therapy, one interesting development was that she also needs to get some "blood-work" so I couldn't give her her medicine... Phenobarbital, Lamictal and
Tranxene...all heavy duty stuff. When I went to pick her up Jane said... she was just wonderful today... she walked through an obstacle course, responded to all my requests, she was a real joy. Regina said she did well too... I am convinced it's the Phenobarbital... I can't wait till she gets off of that crap... 
Not my favorite holiday, but the kids really love it... Calie is the only one who dressed in a costume for school... she was an adorable witch... I tried to snap a picture of her bouncing off to school but it didn't come out well... 
