October week 3

Wall Street Quote Of The Day:

"If the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch." - Matthew xv. 14

Monday                                  October 15, 2001  

... I took Mike to meeting with the principal, I told him that unless he can provide me with a signed paper that assures me that the school will be 100% responsible for his good behavior and safety and the safety of his classmates I just can't, in good conscience, let him go back to school... Mr. W said he couldn't give me that assurance so... Mike is home. We have an IEP scheduled for 0730 on Thursday...I will see his therapist Steve M. tomorrow and tell him the situation... I think we need him at the IEP... I hope he can make it.

I went to Kaiser so Dr. Kodel could look at my back... and a mole that Christy says needs attention... Dr. Kodel requested an appointment with dermatology. My back appears to be a muscle strain... got some muscle relaxers.

Christy and Christian have classes... at noon and 1700... Christy got back about 2030...

 Great cartoon in the LA Times today, this is the best one I have seen. I think ole Herb's plan might rank right up there with re-arranging the rubble in Afghanistan... I hope that all that bombing is doing something besides killing civilians... and UN workers... I really hope that there are commandos in there zeroing on on real terrorists... I hope that we can blow Osama bin Lauden away anonymously, just let him disappear... the "Terrorist Cause" doesn't need another martyr... 

Autumn read "See The Boat" "See the Bird" See the Balloon" & "See the Bus"... what a thrill. A retired pediatrician told me "Autumn will be the joy of your life, every step, every word will be a delight, her accomplishments will make you happier than winning the lottery" He was right... well... winning the lottery would make my day too.

I frequently make instant judgments about people, I was just driving up 15th Street in Lancaster after leaving Kaiser, I saw a lady, just a glimpse, getting into her car... I said to myself "There's someone I don't need to know." Its a strange phenomenon, I have to stop and analyze what triggered that instinct... I remember she was young, had a nice figure, sort of tall, she wore a brown purse with the strap across her chest, her hair was up in one of those sloppy French curls that are so popular... she looked up at a car that had just passed her. I have no clue why I was put off by her... none at all. 

I have been probably been wrong in my snap decisions about people as often as I have been right but I keep on doing it. I have my "Rule of 3" too, I am leery of people with more than three affectations... There are folks who are in costume because of their jobs but there are folks who are in costume because they are weird too.  Movie people are often offenders, Cowboy boots, plaid Bermuda shorts and a 2 foot long pony tail are a dead give away... add Tattoos and piercings and they have gone over my rule of three. I count Tattoos and piercings as "self-mutilation" or one point, beards are OK if they aren't cut weird, on and on.... People who violate the "Rule of 3" set off alarms in my brain, they are almost universally too neurotic or otherwise cerebrally impaired to bother with... it is a basic truth in my little world. That doesn't explain the situation with the lady getting into her car... she didn't violate the "Rule of 3" or do a damn thing to justify my response but the alarms went off anyway and my instincts said she was not someone I would like. Instinctive responses like this really bother me... I don't know why it happens... I can be put on subliminal "alert" by a phrase, an inflection in a voice, a laugh... it's weird...  My sister Sue thinks I am a hypocrite preaching tolerance out of one side of my mouth and crap like "The Rule of 3" out of the other. She is right of course but then she sees a potential soul mate in every person she meets... 

... I was at the Acton Market... I had all the kids... they were being awful... I sat in the car and I couldn't figure out what to do next... if I left them in the car they would be yelling and fighting, if I took them into the store they would be driving me and everyone else crazy... it was an awful moment... not panic... the opposite of panic... like surrender, but that's not the right word, defeat... frustration... angry, sad, resigned... they aren't right either... I went in alone, when I came out they were all over the parking lot... 

If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

Tuesday                                  October 16, 2001

... Cindy needed an erasable pen and Christy forgot to buy Pull-Ups for Autumn so Cindy and I took off for school early... we had plenty of time... until I got a flat on the right front tire. I drove back up to the house and got the other car. I got Cindy her pen and dropped her off about 2 minutes late... I went down to the Acton Market  and got the Pull-Ups and drove up to the house... Calie and Autumn both had some cold symptoms but no fever so we decided to send them to school, I got back and took the Cadillac in to get the flat fixed, then I took the Taurus in to get it's left front tire fixed...I got home and then Mike and I went to Saugus for his therapy...

Christy has been at the Dr's all day... Dr. Kodel for her knee and then the Optometrist she has Corneal Dystrophy click on the link to read about it... she is going down to Sunset to see a Cornea Specialist ASAP...

Heard an interview on NPR with a Lieutenant in Portland Maine... the interesting part was the name of the Police Department 

City

Of

Portland

Police

You know that wasn't an accident... Maine is cool.

Wednesday                             October 17, 2001

People who are willing to give up freedom for the sake of short term security, 

deserve neither freedom nor security. 

Benjamin Franklin, statesman, author, and inventor (1706-1790)

... Interesting quote above isn't it... I wonder what it's from. It seems to be out of context.

Mike pierced his ear... with a thumb tack... he pierced "B" and Christian's ear too... I went ballistic... I think piercing out body is grotesque

I really have no frame of reference for dealing with this kid, he is the embodiment of the hedonistic view of life, he believes that the world outside his brain is there for his enjoyment. He wants to start a band even has a name for it "Bliss" He doesn't even know what the word Bliss means, he had to ask me. He told Christian that he would have to have ear rings to be in the band, Christian wants to be the drummer... now, sense I made him take the ear rings out he can't be in the band... Mike may as well be from Mars

Talked to Jeff T. today about Mike... He agrees that Mike needs to go to Day Treatment.

Thursday                                October 18, 2001

... I lost what I typed for today... I hate that there is no auto-save in this damn program... this program is so sophisticated that it gets hung up if you don't do things in the proper order... like missing a shift on a sports car and losing the transmission.

Damn... I can't remember back 48 hours... pathetic...

Christy had to teach at 0900, Mikes IEP was at 0730, I had to get all the kids to school so Christy went to the IEP, the plan was fro me to show up wit Mike when I finally got all the kids to school... Well... Christian wouldn't get out of bed, that is normal.. he never gets out of bed unless there is something in it for him... Cindy wouldn't get out of bed either... I couldn't deal with her and get the other kids ready. I got Autumn dressed and medicated with her seizure medicine and loaded up the car, I got "B", Calie and Mokie there on time, I was a couple minutes late with Autumn... I raced back over to the Jr. High and told Mike to wait in the lobby... The meeting was just about over... Steve from County Mental Health managed to make it... the consensus was that mike couldn't go to school... he was to high risk...  We will act like he has some communicable disease and keep him home, they will send work up for him to do... in the meantime we will be working like crazy to get him into the "Day Treatment program at Quartz Hill.

After the meeting Christy went to teach her class and Mike and I, after going home for about an hour, went down to Saugus to meet with Steve M. It was an interesting session, he had Mike and I both in there... Steve is not used to dealing with old farts like me... I have learned over the years that honesty really is the best policy... he asks me a question and I answer it as honestly as I can... He wanted to know about my kids so I told him... the expression on his face after getting from Cindy through Christian was almost too classis, he gave me the "Why in the hell are you putting yourself through this" look. I hadn't even talked about Calie, Mokie and Autumn yet... It really is difficult for folks to understand... all they see is the here and now, they can't see the struggle we had to keep Cindy away from her abusive father, or the battle for Calie to keep her from her drug addicted mother, even "B"'s situation... We didn't get into this to adopt 7 kids... no sane person would do that. We thought we were going to care for kids and hand them over to their parents when they got their act together or give them to Adopting parents... didn't happen that way... we gave six or seven kids back to their parents or grandparents but most stayed... they weren't going to be adopted, ever... and when it came to giving them back to the county... well that'd be consigning them to oblivion... so we adopted them...  "But why?"... hell if I know...  (I love them, and I want the best for them, sorry, corny but true)

Friday                                     October 19, 2001

... Cindy was the only kid in school today... We had Cassie Holmstrom... sweet little girl about Calie's age... those two and Mokie played hard all day... Mike spent the night at Justin's... yeah, the Justin who's mom said you aren't welcome up here any more... weird.

We called Mike back down, he wanted to stay there and go to "FunLand" and a movie with Justin because it's his birthday...  He didn't get his med's last night and he was verbally abusive to Christy. He can be a real jerk...  I let him go after getting assurances they he would complete his school work... sure... Mike is a real trip... not a good trip... 

Christy went to take the two kittens over to Bonnie's house, then she came back for Cindy and went to Kaiser to get a different brace for her foot, she bought Cindy a new outfit, she really looks sharp.. I will try to remember to take a picture of her tomorrow. 

We are going over to Karen and Blayne's on Sunday... I want to see a couple games, Rams in the morning and Packers in the afternoon... logistics will be a challenge

Saturday                                 October 20, 2001

... The text of an e-mail I sent to a friend, his remarks are in blue:

And my responses to you will sometimes make me look like a humorless nerd…

My fears, exactly… add to that my fear of appearing to be stupid as opposed to ignorant… ignorance can be corrected with knowledge, stupidity you take to the grave.

  the price I pay for being British - complete with the stiff upper lip (which holds the lower floppy one in place)… but, If I presumed that you were making a joke and you weren’t then I would put it down to our common language coming between us again! I'll put up with it if you will!

 You bet!… it is sad to think how many friendships have been made and lost because of the inadequacy of the written language, or probably, more accurately, the inability of English Speakers to write well enough to communicate effectively in print. I know it is a struggle for me… I used to write to a friend in a town north of here. One of the smartest men I have ever met, I used to work for folks that worked for him. (He was my boss’s boss) His name was Lloyd Richards, he was taking a very long painful time to die of cancer… I would write to him several times a week and he would take a few minutes out of his day to write back long critiques ripping apart everything I typed… sometimes he was pretty harsh… as in; “Pete, You wrote <direct quote here> just what in the f**k are you trying to tell me!!!” it got to be hilarious, I tried soooo hard and he would pick it apart mercilessly … eventually I got to the point where my dangling participles and non-sequiturs were harder to detect… I would take hours reading rewording and re-reading e-mails, I still do.

 I have also learned (the hard way) to put letters that I felt passionate about in abeyance for a day or two to be sure I really wanted to send them… My abeyance file has about 75 letters in it now… some are over a year old and will never be sent for one reason or another… (As I look into it now I note that one or two are to you)… I am far from being a skilled writer but I can occasionally create lucid e-mails.

 It is a difficult for me to express myself clearly in any format, I do seem to have better results writing though, but even so, it seems to take the use of many more words in print to express what could be expressed with a grin. It was a revelation to me to realize the amount of communication that is done with a smile or a frown, just the posture of my body tells the listener volumes. It is virtually impossible and incredibly clumsy and convoluted to even try to express that to a reader.

 Well I have beaten another simple thought to death with diarrhea of the fingers… sorry.

 Be patient with me;

 Pete

Christy got off to church with the girls... except Mokie... "B", Christian and Mike were here with me... Saturdays are not my favorite days... they used to be but not any more... Christy got home about 1330... early for her.

I took Mokie to Albertson's for Milk and bread, when I got back Christy was gone back to Church for Bible Class... Mike was watching Autumn... he split to Scotties as soon as I came up the driveway... 

Christy brought the kids home and wrote up the minutes for the meeting she needed to attend ant 1830... she took Cindy

I fed the kids, argued with Wayne on MSIM, and wrote here in my Journal...big day... Ho Hum. 

I am getting E-Mail from George implying that I need to be getting started on the Cogswell News Letter... I guess I had better get that done... I hate deadlines... the Newsletter is a tedious pain in the butt... I used to enjoy it but now I dread it... 

Sunday                                   October 21, 2001

... We went to Riverside today, I left at about 0840 with Mike "B" Calie and DaMoke... Christy brought the rest alone about an our later... I wanted to be a hero and install a Hard Drive in Wayne's PC but I couldn't figure out a way to mount it... he had one spare bay that he wants to put a DVD into... the existing HD was mounted to the case... flat against the front... there was no place to put it... I am not a "Hardware guy" I know how to use programs and I can usually fix most simple stuff but if something went wrong with his PC I might not be able to fix it... 

Mike was a pain in the butt again... he wanted to go back home and was rude, crude and insensitive... the more obnoxious he was the more determined I was to stay... made him mad... made me feel good.  

New subject, nothing particularly relevant but I like to read thoughts that are clearly expressed…

From an article by Jonah Goldburg in the National Review…

http://www.nationalreview.com/goldberg/goldberg101901.shtml

If I kill your son, will you feel better about it if I tell you my religion made me do it?

God's will must remain a mystery, so we cannot get satisfactory answers as to why certain religions require so many seemingly odd things. But morality is not a mystery. We have some basic rules about morality (not enough in my opinion) and we have to act on them. Period. If you want to call these ideas culturally biased, be my guest.