May 99

"Donut Day" ... No donuts today, I got up at 0530 and took off for Scottsdale at 0600 or so. The trip over here was boring and uneventful as usual. I got in to see Mom at about 1215. She was very weak and seemed to be a little disoriented but she had been pretty sick this morning. I tried to talk with her about mundane things but it quickly became obvious that she would rather rest.

I called Sue and found out that my Niece had given life to Nicholas at 02:47. He weighed about seven and a half pounds and is perfectly healthy. I drove up to my sister's home and we had lunch. We waited for Jack to wake up and then took him down to see his mom. Sue said that Jacks first encounter with Nick was to se him in his mother's arms. Sue got the distinct impression that Jack had a hard time with the concept of losing his place as the baby of the family. When we got there though Jack seemed pretty comfortable with the idea. He poked and prodded his brother for a while and appeared to be adjusting rapidly. Dave (The incidental Dad) and Sue and Ross and I were taking pictures like someone was going to repossess the cameras. I got some nice pictures on the digital Kodak I will post them as soon as I get home.

Sue, Ross, Dave, Jack and I had a quick bite at IHOP. Dave and Jack went to their home and Sue, Ross and I went back to see Mom. She seemed to be a little worse than when I had seen her in the morning and Sue, who hadn't seen Mom in about a day noticed a marked change. We stayed for a short time and went back up to the house...

We called Leigh to update her on our evaluation of Moms condition. We had a bet as to what Leigh's assessment of the situation would be. Leigh likes to sum situations up with one word, I chose "Awesome" Sue said "" and the word Leigh came up with was "Shitty", after digesting that remark for a moment I think she pretty much hit the nail on it's noggin.

I called Christy and briefed her on what was going on... Autumn was crying but other than that she said everyone was behaving themselves.

 Sue and I were going to go back down but I talked Sue into getting some more sleep. So I went back to the Nursing Home by myself with the promise to call if there was anything significant to report. The nursing assistant came in and said they had just given her a Tylonol because she had a temperature of 100.7... Damn....I heard 107, and I called Sue. I told her what I heard and she said "107 or 100.7?"... I went out to check with the nurse and it was 100.7 ... damn there goes my credibility again ... Oh well. Sue was asleep and I felt bad waking her...

I am sitting in a chair at the foot of Mom's bed typing with the glow from the monitor of my laptop and a dim light from the hall. Typing, for me, is a slow tedious process. I am getting better as the years roll on but I am far from being a touch typist. You could put the keys in alphabetical order or move them around daily and it wouldn't have much effect on my speed or accuracy. I mention this only because I am miss-typing about every other word and really pissing myself off.

This !!Happy Mother's Day!! is for all of you. So hang in there, and keep on doing the best that you can.

I suppose there are many aspects of my personality that warrant redemption. For example I am lazy, and I resent laziness in others. I am also selfish, miserly, a poor listener ... I make snap judgements about people too... with a little more introspection I could probably go on and on but to be honest, just saying what little I have makes me uncomfortable .. and a little depressed. It intrigues me how well I have hidden my faults from myself, I suspect that many of us are expert at disillusioning ourselves. There are irredeemable SOB's running around out there who are convinced that they are princes among men... legends in their own minds. I am trying very hard not to be one of them. There is a saying about how much better off we would be if we could "see ourselves as others see us". My brain freezes up occasionally ... I know that quote like I had said it myself but I can't remember... I hate when that happens. I wish I could look it up but My PC is busy writing a CD and I am hesitant to get on the Net and look it up...

I don't know as I would like to be perpetually aware of what other people thought of me... I would probably blow my brains out or go live in a cave. I am too tuned in to what other people think as it is. It is a curse to be sensitive to the opinions of others. Sociopaths have it easy in in this world... Well all I can say is that as I become aware of my imperfections I will endeavor to correct them.

At some time in the not so distant past I became aware of the fact that I have no right to cast the first stone. I think I am a pretty nice fella and I try to live up to my own self-image. The potential for anger, intolerance, snobbishness, elitism, insensitivity, rudeness, bigotry, ostentation, vulgarity, and all the other ugly words are always there, the ability to suppress them is always there too. The concept that Anger, for instance, is a choice was a revelation to me. I have often said that "That so & so made me angry", and I believed it too. Were I enlightened enough at 16 to realize that I had the power to be in control of my feelings I would have been a much happier child. ...

5/3/99 Monday

... I went in to see Mom about 10:00 she looked fine, she was sitting in her wheelchair, her hair was done, She said "Peter! What are you doing here!? She hadn't a clue that I had been with her most of the previous day. I said "You were pretty sick yesterday, Mom" She said "I guess I was"... It was a big day for Mom, She spent about four hours with Sue, Katy, and I and capped it off with a visit from the Alemans, I posted the picture of her meeting her Great Grandson, Nicholas in last weeks edition. We helped her back to bed and her parting shot was "Unfortunately it looks like I'm going to make it through another day." She's still trying to crsck jokes...

I went back up to Sue's to pick up some more old pictures and drove back to Acton. The drive was OK, getting sort of Ho Hum actually. I am always amazed at the difference between the scenery in Arizona and the scenery in California. The Mojave, on the California side, looks like Mars and the Sonora, on the Arizona side of the Colorado River looks like a prickly Eden. There are Joshua Trees in California and none in Arizona, there are Saguaro Cactus in Arizona and none in California. I have never figured out why.

... Christy, "B" and I went to the Devereux Center in Santa Barbara. It is actually north of Santa Barbara in a town called Golita. This is a very nice place, right on the ocean, we could see pelican's and seagulls, the scent of the sea has a definite affect on me, It seems to calm me somehow. Being out on the ocean has the same affect. I never really felt at home at sea but ... hard to explain... I'm digressing again...

The first step for getting "B" admitted there is the Intake Interview, we talked for about an hour and a half with a Staff Psychologist and a Staff Supervisor. They were very nice and also very tuned in and obviously committed to their respective calling's. I asked some, if I do say so myself) tough questions and they gave me straightforward answers, some answers were hard to digest though. "B" would probably have to stay there for eighteen months to three years... whew... reality bites. They seemed to be surprised that we wanted "B" to come back home with us eventually, apparently most of their kids are on a different track... They said It would take a few days for the committee to assess "B"'s needs and to determine if this was the proper placement and to evaluate whether or not they could help him. The admissions lady Kelly McCool (Neat name) took us on a tour of the grounds. It would make a nice Club Med Resort... as we were leaving. Kelly came out and said "B" was accepted and he is first in line to have the next open placement. I suspect that the "Committee" was the two people we talked to in the interview.

"B" seemed to really enjoy the visit and though he wasn't thrilled with the idea he seemed to be looking forward to the experience... "B" is hard to figure sometimes. Just when I think there is nothing going on behind those black eyes he surprises me.

5/5/89 Wednesday

... Christy teaching. I finally put the new CD-ROM I bought a month ago into my old PC.

I ran some errands today and did some puttering around the house. I drove down to Palmdale and picked up my CD's at Carols. I have a bunch of Genealogy CD's... I have to find time to dig into them...

... Christy took Autumn to physical therapy, Autumn is a case study for a 40 hour certification course for experienced Speech, Occupational & Physical Therapists to become certified in neuromuscular disorders, it's called Therapy West. Parents aren't supposed to be in the room when the 'subject' is being examined/treated but Autumn wouldn't cooperate without Christy in the room. Christy was really impressed with the therapists and they were really impressed with Autumn. Autumn is incredibly strong, she can chin herself and hold herself suspended almost indefinitely.. They were all oooh'ing and aaah'ing over her capabilities. They all said she had a lot going for her. The Speech Therapist was impressed with the sounds she made and how well she could understand. She performed every task that she was asked to do. They noted some problems too, there are over and under developed muscles in her back, she doesn't swing her left hip when she 'walks'. And a couple other things

Today was Dave Aleman's Birthday (If you recall, he is the father of Nicholas) It seems to me it is pretty neat to have your birthday so close to your sons... perhaps he took a moment to reflect on how priorities have shifted when compared to birthdays in the past.

Shopping

... Autumn went to physical therapy, again... She will be going for one hour Thursdays and Fridays till the end of June... I am trying to remember what I did all day but my mind is a blank... I worked in the shed and threw a bunch of stuff into the trash again Still haven't made it to the little shed yet. There appears to be some conspiracy afoot to prevent me from getting even one little thing accomplished...

... Christy teaching and Bonnie who takes the kids to church was sick so I took the kids to Placerita Park. I took a bunch of pictures and we had a nice walk. "B" held his own this time, he didn't complain much at all... Autumn was in the Zoomer and she had a ball... the wheel kept falling off the front of it... I don't think it fully recovered from falling off the top of the van last summer at 65 miles per hour. The kids caught a frog and I had a hell of a time getting them to put it back in the stream.

One of my neighbors came over and said that her husband was starting a new business and needed her there to help him out for a while and would I mind taking her three kidlings to school for the rest of the year... I said sure...

"Donut Day" I took the kids out for donuts early there is a "Donut Inn" at the Union 76 Station so it was pretty painless. We got there early enough so that there was a good selection. They put out enough donuts to make it till about 0830 on weekdays and Sundays they usually run out before 0730. It's an interesting marketing ploy but I don't understand it...

Mothers Day is very stressful to Fathers in case no one noticed. There is a lot of pressure on Dad's to strive to make the day move along smoothly. I sort of lost control for a while in the mid-morning. Lumpy and "B" got into a battle and were kicking and punching one another with intent to do serious bodily injury. I had to pull them apart and I was concentrating on Lumpy because he was definitely getting the best of "B". I plopped him down in front of Chris and went to see to "B", while I was gone, Lumpy said to Mom "I wish I never existed" just what a mom wants to hear on Mothers Day. Christy had a hard time getting "up" for our Mothers Day ride to Fontana. Fontana is where Pat and Mike live now. Pat's Daughter Holly was there with her husband Dan and their two kids Donavan and Nathaniel who is five months old. I am having a hard time keeping Nathan and Nathaniel straight in my mind.

We made it to Fontana with no trouble, I tried a new route it took us longer but we traveled an extra 20 miles ... typical.

Holly's baby is 5 months old and, in a word, BIG... he is also absolutely adorable. He weighs 25 pounds, that's 4 pounds less than Autumn ... Autumn is four... We had a pretty good visit. Mike cooked hamburgers and hotdogs. The kids played out back... I wouldn't let them do anything but pass through. Pat & Mike's house is brand new and the furniture is all new too ... and... my kids are like a natural disaster. They aren't maliciously destructive or even careless exactly, it's just that they use stuff, they are constantly doing things if you have seven kids in perpetual motion it's inevitable that something is going to break, get spilled, knocked over, bleed, or just generally going to be altered some how. I was a nervous wreck. Christy seems immune to it for some reason. Perhaps it's because she has a better rapport with her sister than I have with my brother-in-law. Chris is very close to Pat and, Mike and I are not real computable, We have decided that we had better stick to shaking hands and saying "Hi How ya doing..." and then spend the rest of the day in opposite corners of where ever we are at.

I try to control the kids but it's a losing battle. I have told myself not to lose perspective ... all they have to do is clean up.... I have to take them home with me... that usually eases my conscience a little bit but it is still a very stressful thing when I have to take the kids anywhere.

5/10/99 Monday

... The Neighbors kids showed up at 0730... they were excited to be riding with my gang but ... 0730? They just marched in like they owned the place. The girls were getting dressed, Christy was trying to hand out the morning medication. As I said before... What a Putz I am... I managed to get the van rolling at the appointed time with all 9 kids aboard. It must be quite a spectacle to see that many kids get out of something that isn't yellow with a black stripe.

We ran out of Autumns Phenobarbital this morning so I took off with Autumn and "B" to Kaiser to get her some more. We don't usually run out but Christy has been busy teaching and I haven't been paying attention. By the way, Autumn hates the taste of that stuff. She is getting better at finding ways to avoid having to take it... she spits it out, she turns her head at the last second, she knocks it out of our hands, she arches her back. She is so darn strong it has become a team effort to get it down her and we have to do it twice a day. I have tasted it and I don't blame her one bit, I have asked the Pharmacist if he can create a better tasting syrup for it but he said no... Joe R., is this true?

I took "B" out for a haircut at SuperCuts and got myself one too. "B" looks a lot better, I still look old and fat.

"B" and I met Christy at Applebee's for lunch, I like that place. They treat their customers very well and there is no pretense to the place... plus the food is good. Also, the kids they have working there are really nice, they hire waiters that are good at their jobs and they hire disabled people, which is refreshing to me... which may be why "B" likes to go there I'll bet.

Went home and picked up the van and went to get the kids... I remembered to pick up the extra three...

Went to Best Buy and picked up a new Vacuum Cleaner and Albertsons to shop for dinner

My next door neighbor, Richard Moore, created a brand new driveway while we were out. Apparently he forgot to set the parking break on his work-truck and it swooped down off the hill and obliterated his blackberry field in the process. The chicken wire and rebar acted like an aircraft carrier plane catcher. I wasn't here to see the spectacle but Maria, his daughter, said she learned a few new words from her dad.

... 0800 Kids to school

1000 Tim to "The Russian". We had a 'set to' about not coming up with one name for Tim/Mike. She said she had a "real problem" with the fact everyone calls him something different. In the front of my mind I knew she was really saying that Christy and I are screwing up and should stress that Tim have only one name, and the reality that Tim has, in effect, two names is one of the things that is screwing him up. It kind of irked me a bit. Tim and I finally convinced her that it was really her problem and she ought to get over it... doesn't bother Tim and people around him aren't all that upset either. Every body calls him what ever they want and Tim answers to them all.

1130 I got Tim to school before lunch, which he seemed to be concerned about.

1130 I made it to school in time for "B"'s IEP, I beat Christy there actually. "B" will start school tomorrow, he is anxious to start. We gave Mrs. Wegman (VP) and Mrs. Gondar (Principal) our concerns and they said that they are prepared to intervene if "B" starts to lose control. "B" won't be much of a problem if they can keep kids from poking fun at him but I am comforted somewhat that they are taking him seriously now.

Thursday is the second Thursday of the month that means it's time for the ROF, last month I was in Milwaukee. Apparently no one could make the reunion except John Martin... I felt bad for Lois Taylor who does a lot of work to prepare for these things... I said I would be there and sent out an E-mail to all the folks with PC's telling them in so many words to Be there or Be square. Then I looked at the date May 13th ... Dum De Dum Dumb!! Note: A little history lesson.... Fifty years ago on May 13, 1949 Little Christy Lee Rodgers was born... I - B - in major Doo-doo...

"B" starts school today, With the three "Precocious" (to use my fathers word) neighbor kids and Autumn I have 10 kids to schlepp to school in my little fifteen passenger van...  hoo-boy, well I will put this on my resume. What a trial... school ends in 28 days!... Why is that observation ominous and comforting at the same time...

I got Autumn her donut and drove home Christy met me at the door... because, in the hubbub of the morning we forgot the kids medication so got back in and drove back to school.

Autumn and I went to the Acton Florist and bought some flowers to surprise Christy with in the morning...

The rest of the day is a blur...

...I cleaned the house while Christy was taking Autumn in to Therapy West.. Worked about three and a half hours, and it looks 100% better than it did but it still looks like a Bosnian Bivouac area, it is so demoralizing, even when this place is cleaned up it still looks like hell...

"B" had a good day, I got a 'thumb's up' from Mrs. Wegman, the VP.

Chris and I put Autumn on the bus and went into town for lunch at the Olive Garden... I gave her a bouquet of roses. Her present was the vacuum cleaner I bought on Monday... I know... pretty lame. We went home. She took a nap. She had had a long day. I went down to get all the kids, dropped Calie off at dance and dropped all the kids off at home, I woke Chris and went to pick up Calie then went to the ROF... It was a pretty full house this time and turning into a pretty good party but I felt like I should have stayed home. I just couldn't get with the program. I left at about 19:30.

 ... It was my turn to take Autumn to Therapy West. We got there a little early and walked down to get donuts, I carried her back on my shoulders and got donut glazing in my hair for the trouble. We waited in the waiting room and promptly at 0830 we were told we could go in. I had dressed Autumn in her Vegas Showgirl outfit (Silver spangled bathing suit) and put her dress on over it. The therapists were duly impressed...

Actually I was quite impressed with them... there were three, Eddie who is a Physical Therapist, Heleen (she spelled it for me), a Occupational Therapist and Tracy, a Speech Therapist. They took turns "playing' with Autumn. They had toys and made her reach for them, and Picture books but the best tool they had was soap bubbles. They were concentrating on getting her to use her left hand for picking things up, Autumn is defiantly right handed. They showed me on her back where she needs to develop more muscle and how much stronger her right side is than her left. They got her to stretch and reach and jabber and laugh for about an hour and a half. Apparently Autumn has trained her self to get around by using virtually every muscle in her body and in the process she has created areas on her chest and back that are over developed and some that are under developed. She walks with her feet turned out pretty radically and they will attack that situation later in the course. She has so much strength that it has caused problems. We have to work at stretching her muscles and getting her to stick out her chest so she can breath properly. Christy and I have a lot of work ahead of us...

I got a call from Mrs. Wegman... "B" had punched another kid in the eye... he is benched for at least a day... "B" was provoked but he had a contract with Mrs. Wegman that he would "Talk, Warn, and Tell" if he had a problem... Mrs. Wegman is concerned...

 ...We got all the kids ready for church and Christy took off at about 0830. I had received a call at 0730 from George Overman the Cogswell Reunion Coordinator and he informed me that I had omitted two articles in the Newsletter ... I thought I was done... damn... I worked for about three hours squeezing them in... It is now 2100 and I am finally through tweaking it and just finished FAXing it to George.

Unfortunately I couldn't get Christy to look at it till after I sent it... she found some typos and other problems... Oh well.

"Donut Day" I got the donuts for the kids, I also noticed that the dogs were out of food, and the bird feeders were empty so I had to make a critter run to Wal-Mart. I can get the same dog food they sell at the feed store for half the price and I suspect the wild birdseed is cheaper too but I haven't checked it out... Christy wants to clean the house but I am just not in the mood... I called sue and got a report on Mom. Mom is still pain free, she seems to enjoy a short conversation but she is very tired and seems to be ready for you to leave before you are ready to go.

Attention John Daggett! (Colorado John not Texas John) Christy and I will be in Denver on the 19th through the 23rd... Staying at the Double Tree Hotel on 3203 Quebec St. I have done my usual thorough job of procrastination and neglected to contact my cousin John. See you for dinner on the 22nd, Daggett's sounds good.

When we get back from Denver I think I will drive over to Scottsdale. Leigh and her husband Bill will be there for two days and it seems like an opportunity I shouldn't pass up. I wish I could figure out a way for Christy to be there too.

I am copying a CD to send to George, this is the second shot at it. Calie said what does this blue button do and pushed the "Eject" button which ejected the CD I was writing... and aborted about 45 minutes of computer time... she's lucky she's cute...

It aborted again, I am beginning to suspect that the CD I am copying from is damaged ... George will give that news a serious pout if it's true. Well, third time's the charm they say, it's amazing how often that's true...

Well something is wrong with the damn thing... I don't think it was Calie that screwed it up. I will have to call tech support tomorrow... I am e-mailing the file to George all 11 megs, My ISP will be cussing me... so will George... I will mail him my copy of Publisher to loan to the printer in the morning... Computers are perverse machines the more important the job you want them to do the more likely they are to let you down...

"That's the thing what Lumpy jumps in so the snake won't bite him."

As I was going to the car to take Cole, Mikes friend, to his sisters' baseball game I saw that, Cole, was about to step on a rattlesnake coiled up near the back of the car. I yelled "Cole!...SNAKE... Get back" , he jumped back like a rabbit. He's a smart kid.

The snake was under the rear of the car so I had to encourage him out with a hoe and a rake. I managed to pick him up with the rake and put him down by the chainlink fence. I told Tim to watch the snake and make sure it goes away, otherwise I would have to kill it. I am tired of killing rattlers. Seems sort of unnecessary, all they want is to be left alone. If they come back to the house I kill 'em but they usually just go away. I put Cole in the car and got him to the game in time.

When I got back I went to get a glass of water and looked out the kitchen window at the old swing set and saw a contraption made out of a trash-can suspended from bungee cords hanging from it. I said to the nearest kid "What's that Moke?" she said "That's the thing what Lumpy jumps in so the snake won't bite him." I stared at it for a second or two and said; "Of course, what else could it be."

Lumpy and Da Moke are great kids to have around when you need to be cheered up.

5/17/99 Monday

... We got a call from Mrs. Gondar, the principal at the Meadowlark Elementary School, K-2. Apparently Mokie was busted on the playground for not freezing after the freeze bell (What ever that is) sounded. Instead of freezing, her and her buddy TJ ran to the back of the playground and hid. The 'Yard-duty' (A parent volunteer usually) saw them and said "Monica, you have to go see Mrs. Gondar now." Monica and TJ just took off again and tried to hide… I am trying to imagine what went through their six year old minds that allowed them to assimilate all the information available and conclude that running away was the solution to their problem. Mrs. Gondar said they actually cut class. Her and her buddy are benched tomorrow for all recesses... Kindergarten... Part of me is upset with her, part is concerned, a small part is amused and the rest thinks this is just the tip of the iceberg. Mokie is a very independent sort and I have a sinking feeling that getting Mokie through 11 more years of education is not going to be done without a lot of hands-on attention.

... I took Tim to the Russian. We need some paperwork signed and a form filled out by her in order to get that "knife incident' behind us… In my simple mind the report is already completed because that is her job. She does these reports as a matter of course because the outfit she works for has a contract with the county. 'The Russian' would say "Oh, sure Mr. Daggett, no problem, here's the report" I would say, "Thank you" and she would say, "You're welcome". Instead, this proved to be another incidence where she attempted to imply that I wasn't doing my part;

"I need to fill out a release form for you to sign."

"What is the Probation Officers name?"

"What is her telephone number?"

"Where do I send the report?"

"What do I say in the report?"

Well, actually, she succeeded in impressing me with the distinct feeling that she thinks I am incompetent. I on the other hand, can only say that my respect for her professionalism is also diminishing with each visit. I don't mind being put down, as a matter of fact I appreciate the opportunity to defend myself. What I do resent is being put down in front of my son.

Christy took Autumn to the Neurologist in Panorama City. He feels that since her medication is keeping her seizures under control we shouldn't mess with it.

After dropping Mike/Tim off at school I went home to cleanup for grandma and Grandpa's, arrival and to pack for the excursion to Denver…Grandma and Grandpa showed up at about 1800.

Tim and his pals are into machinations that have me truly boggled. I got a call from Jesse's Mom and it seems that she is as mystified by all the trading, buying, swapping, scamming and conning as I am. We have bought Tim stuff that has just disappeared, Tim has stuff that we didn't buy. Jesse's mom has talked to her son and determined that there is a skateboard, $15.00 and some video games that need to be located. It seems that all of these items have at one time or another passed into or through Tim's hands. I called him on it, because I was upset, and he had an explanation for everything, a convoluted eleven-year-olds misguided explanation, but at least now I feel a little better. I will endeavor to get all the interested parties together next week when I return from Denver and Phoenix, and see what happens.

Christy and I are going to Denver tomorrow, Grandma and Grandpa she will be attending another Seminar/School for "Kline, Fay's Love and Logic". They teach a process for dealing with all sorts of kids...

Christy and I decided to sleep in MotorMonster because Grandpa has a bad back and it just seemed like the right thing to do. We have an air-mattress on the bed and it is awful. We didn't sleep worth a damn. We couldn't get comfortable or warm… I am glad we found it out in the driveway instead of 400 miles away from home.

... 0700, We got away on time and arrived at the Fly-A-Way with 10 minutes to spare…

On the bus ride from the Fly-A-Way to LAX we passed a Bel Air housing development. They had their own flag and it was flying above American and California flag… the implications are boggling me.

I called Mom from Phoenix, I told her I was at the airport on a 20-minute layover on my way to Denver, I thought I was being cute but I just confused her. I felt like an idiot…. Live and learn … hopefully.

We had an uneventful flight except for the turbulence coming into Denver… there is always turbulence coming into Denver…

We had dinner with Judy and Sheldon Ross in the hotel at an Italian Restaurant called Rossi's… excellent, almost worth what we paid for it… They moved here years ago, back in '89 I think. I have always enjoyed talking with them, Judy has been Christy's friend since they worked together back in the 80's. 

... I didn't do much today, I drove around and  got my bearings a little. Colorado is a lot different than it was when I came here in '62. It had an identity then, the people sounded different and they acted different too somehow. Today even the commercials on the radio are the same in LA. I noticed that there are no News stations on the radio here. There are a lot of religious stations preaching to the choir and sports bone heads telling each other how smart and perceptive they are, and a lot of Limbaugh wannabe's and the Man Himself is on at least two stations simultaneously.

I found myself actually agreeing with the creep for a while on the "Ban Guns" issue. He was talking about Littleton and that it wasn't the guns that did the damage it was the two boys. He ranted on and on about how it wasn't the guns it's society, Society is calling the victims 'victims' and they are calling the kids that did the shooting victims too, it isn't the guns it's this and that "You tell em Rush baby!!!". Then he lost me, he concluded that the problem wasn't anything but a couple of "Evil Kids". Huh? That guy is scary… as though the kids were some sort of spawn of the devil, an anomaly that can't be explained. I wonder how he rationalizes the other shootings and suicides that are happening daily. Are all these kids just 'evil'? Oops starting another rant… sorry.

Christy got out of class at about 16:00 and we decided to meet Judy and Sheldon for dinner at "The Outback"

... Had another laid back day, I drove down to Pueblo and came back, there are a lot of strange images, Western Saloons with beat-up, rusted out pick-up trucks next to a Starbucks with Yuppie Cruisers and S.U.V.'s bigger than my house. I saw homes in the hills that were absolutely boggling in their size and elegance, built next to old farm and ranch houses that could barely stand up by themselves, double-wides next to brick mansions…

Colorado is not for me I guess. I will stick with the strangeness that I am used to.

We went out to Toys R Us and got the kids some stuff, more to assuage our feelings of guilt for being here relaxing and not being with them than anything else… We tried to get them what they wanted but we couldn't find some of the things.

We had dinner at "Brannigans", not bad…

... Christy has a short training day today, she will be out at 14:00 and then we will head up to see my cousin and his wife; John and Carrie Daggett. I am really looking forward to seeing them again. It is sort of strange to be with them though, we have little in common but a little history and a shared ancestry. John is a musician and he manages something to do with transportation in Fort Collins, Carrie is a lawyer for the City I think. I will check that out tonight.

Christy Got out of class late, there were "Tornado Warnings" in the Denver area. We made it to John's house about 16:30, I was relying on my memory so we made a few wrong turns but not many... John and Carrie are re-landscaping their property, by the number of trees and flats of ground cover I would say they have about a month of work to do...

We went to a place called The Catacombs for dinner. Dinner was very nice Carrie had Iowa Steak (i.e.; cooked to the point it resembles the briquettes it was cooked over). Christy had steak too. I had elk steaks, excellent, and John had Ostrich, also excellent. Carrie and John have a lot of fun making fun of themselves and each other, I really enjoyed the visit.

...We got the shuttle to the airport and flew home via Phoenix. We got to the house about 14:30, Grandma and Grandpa were out the door within 5 minutes, imagine that...

Calie and I went out to the shed to load her new "Barbie Fashion" CD-ROM, it was a dud. I said "I will get you a new one when I get back from Arizona." She said "OK Daddy" and went in the house. She saw all the other kids playing with their stuff and was sobbing when I got in... I hate it when girls cry, it is like nerve-gas, there is no way to defend yourself from genuine tears... I took her to Toys R Us and got her a new one. (... It took me a while to make it past the autocratic, self appointed inquisitor, 'Return Drone' pinhead though). Toys R Us used to be pretty good about taking back stuff, I hope this person was an anomaly.

... I took the kids to school drove home and swapped the van for the car and drove to Scottsdale. I was trying to time my arrival with my sister Leigh and her husband Bill. They were arriving from Boston at 14:00. It seemed like the world was conspiring to put up obstacles, I had $0.78 when took off and the ATM links at the first two places I stopped at were down, construction delays on Hwy 138, more construction delays on the 10 Fwy. I pulled in to the nursing home at about 14:25 and Sue showed up with Leigh and Bill about 10 minutes later. Pretty good... Mom was having a bad day, she had a fever and was too tired to deal with all of us so we went out for coffee and Cokes and tried again about an hour later... she was still too tired, so we went up to Sue's house.

I was following Sue because all the road construction around Pima road and the new Freeway has altered the normal route somewhat. I almost lost her because trying to follow a white Jeep in Scottsdale is like trying to follow the Yellow taxicab in New York City.

My sisters and I have seen more of each other in the past year than we have in the previous 20. It is a little strange, I try to imagine circumstances where we will be inclined to get together for a more joyous occasion in the future but none has leapt to mind. I really do hope we are going to be able to find ways to get together, the thought of waiting for another family emergency makes me sad, no .... 'sad' is too simple, it makes me wonder what sort of family we are. I am sort of tired of feeling like an outcast, don't get me wrong... my sisters are wonderful and my brothers in law have been very tolerant of me (Union Vs Management.. Democrat Vs Republican, actually I sort of enjoy that aspect, I never knew I could get passionate about those sort of things). The feeling comes from me not them. When I moved away in 1962 I became immersed in my own life and trying to survive it, I was a son and brother by definition only. My sisters, parents and I stayed in touch but I didn't stay involved, I was too busy trying to figure out what my own existence was all about... My sisters had children and went through traumas of their own, I shared the facts but not the feelings. It is hard to resurrect a close relationship that has been virtually dormant for 38 years. I think I have learned something my sisters already knew, family is a big deal.

... The five of us had breakfast and drove over to see Christine and Dave's house... it looks fantastic... I am amazed at what they have accomplished in such a short period of time. We left the Aleman's and drove to see Mom at about 10:30. Traffic in Scottsdale is pretty bad so it was a while before we got there. Mom was up and in her chair and seemed sort of overwhelmed for a few minutes. We had a nice visit, helped mom to bed and went to lunch. I said G'bye to everyone and headed back to Acton... I got pretty tired. The radio keeps my brain ticking over but there is nothing to listen to between Quartzite and Indio but ... stuff that I don't care to listen to.

Just outside Indio I got a call on the PCS Phone from Christy, she was on her way to the hospital to get Lumpy looked at. Apparently he was cutting an apple with a serrated knife and filleted his index finger, she seemed to think it might need stitches. (It didn't). Lumpy is a little bit of an airhead sometimes, takes after his dad.

... Back to the grind. I had sent an e-mail off to HP last week about my CD-Writer not working properly. They wrote back with several things for me to try to see if I could fix the problem... I tried them all and it still didn't work, I wrote them this morning to tell them so. When I got back from taking the kids there was an e-mail saying that they were sending me a new one... cool. I got my upgraded version of ICQ working too.

The Fire Department Nazi's were up to tell me to cut the weeds "Or we will hire someone to do it for you and send you the bill." I know I have to do it but it's been a little hectic and I haven't made it a priority yet. I spent about an hour out there and made a dent but I have a lot to do.

The neighbor lady behind me is a Seismologist. The FD Nazi said he is going to send her a letter telling her to knock down the weeds behind my place on her side of the fence. We haven't gotten along very well and I'm sure she will think I was the instigator. It's a hard thing when you don't get along with a neighbor... The kids used to climb the chainlink fence all the time and play with her dog. She told them firmly to get off her property last year and then she put up a "No Trespassing" sign on the fence the next day.... One sign, on a fence surrounding 5 acres, next to where I park my car. Classy...

Mike went to his buddy's house after school and Lumpy went to his pals house... this is getting to be a ritual...

... Christy took Autumn to therapy and I took the kids to school.

I got a call from the school telling me that the visit Tim made to his friend Brian's house was unauthorized...His mother was a little upset. Apparently there was nobody home, I had figured that both of the boys wouldn't lie to me but I didn't account for Tim believing his friend. I am used to being skeptical of Tim but not his friends...

Calie had dance class after school and we had to be at Back-To-School night at Meadowlark... We missed Acton School's Back-To-School night because we were in Denver... Calie's class sang and they did a Hula dance, it was very adorable. We found out that Mokie was the hit of their production, we didn't even know they were having one. Mrs. Gondar said that everyone was asking who that little girl with the husky voice was. Apparently she held the microphone and really belted out her song. She has a very deep voice and a Baba Wawa sort of speech impediment, she puts lots of extra O's, W's, and U's in words, it's really cute. I know we will get to see her perform again someday but... damn.

...Christy and I put down the new floor in he kitchen ... finally... it looks pretty good. I am tired though, it took about 5 1/2 hours, lots of nooks and crannies and refrigerators and things... Christy's back is "out" again... she is in misery.

... Lumpy went to see Star Wars with a buddy, I am psyching myself up to take the kids to go see it next Wednesday. I really enjoyed the first one and the rest were OK, I suspect that this one is geared to the kids a little more than the others though...

Tim lined up a visit at his friend Brian's house but old Brian screwed with him again and lied about his parents being home... he wanted me to pick him up without talking to his parents first... not a good idea.

... I tried to watch the Indy 500 this morning even though I only recognized the names of about 5 of the drivers, but I missed most of it, I did manage to see the last 15 laps though... I used to watch one of the drivers, Jeff Ward, race mini-bikes over at Indian Dunes when he was about 5 years old. He was utterly fearless, I wasn't surprised when he became a big time Motocross racer but Indy is another story, he placed second... pretty good.

I just wasted my time sending out about 50 E-mails to Daggett's I found on one of the internet directories... about 45 of them came back "No such address".

5/31/99 Memorial Day

...Brian stayed the night, we were awakened 06:45 by an upset lady wanting to know who called them to order a pizza at 0630 in the morning? I went out to the living room and saw Tim going out the door and Brian and Christian by the phone. After a lot of stern language I finally found out that Brian made the call. Tim tried to take the blame by saying he had called his friend Austin but with today's technology and 30 years in the Phone Company I figured out that the number belonged to a stranger, A. M. Land who lives three roads down the valley. The lady used *69 to dial me back. I used Caller ID to get her name and the Internet to get her address. My first temptation was to take the kid up to their house and let him apologize in person but I guess that is up to his parents to do.

I had planned to take the kids back down to Placerita Park this morning so I packed them all up, Christy decided to come along at the last minute and so we made it a picnic... sort'a . We dropped Brian off at his house and went to the park. We had a nice walk up the stream and I took some more pictures. On the way back down I bent over to pick up Autumn's Zoomer and I dropped my new digital camera in the stream, that took the shine off the day for me. It still takes pictures but the LCD screen is toast. Damn...