8/1/99 Sunday
…Calie’s Birthday party Called Steve Trotta for a solution to my PC problem, I want to buy a new hard-drive make it the C and savet the data on the old C drive… He said it should work, warned me that the data may be corrupted on the old C and it may not even come up…He said he would help me tomorrow…
There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day.
-Alexander Woollcott-
8/2/99 Monday
…Tim/Mike to Dr. Doan
Steve got tied up in a meeting, he won’t be able to help
8/3/99 Tuesday
… Calie lost another tooth
Steve was tied up again and couldn’t help me with the PC
8/4/99 Wednesday
… Chris took Autumn to Therapy in Lancaster.
I was to take Cindy to Dr Doan at 1700 but Dr. Doan canceled the appointment due to an emergency…
Calie’s real Birthday is today. We got a call from Devereux Center about 10:00, they said that the Santa Barbara School District refused to fund "B"’s education, they said he needed to be placed in the Public School System. I went a little nuts… Some little bureaucrat read his transcripts and deemed him to be qualified to attend Public School. His parents, his Social Worker, his psychiatrist, the school psychologist, his teachers all say he needs intensive therapy, they all say Devereux is the best place in California, we wait four months for a slot to open up, and this person sends it all to hell with a flick of her #2 Ticonderoga…
8/5/99 Thursday
…I went over to Steve Trotta’s last night and got the PC running, and the Laptop died, I can’t even boot to the floppy, infernal, perfidious, machine… I hate Hardware… I stayed up till 0300 loading programs and finally just went to bed… Called AMS Technology to take the laptop in for repair. Unfortunatelt all my notes for the beginning of the week are on it, If they zap the hard drive … oh well.
Called Devereux, no change, called the Social Worker, no answer, called the Acton School Principal (Tracy Wegman) she has gone to bat for us before and we need all the support we can get. Called the Santa Barbara School District, the bureaucrat wasn’t in but I got hold of her boss, I explained the situation and she said “Oh, there’s been an misunderstanding, I think "B" needs to be at Devereux too” The decision had been overruled and the bureaucrat just happened to leave Devereux out of the loop… damn, it’s not final but I think everything is back on track.
8/6/99 Friday
…Tim/Mike went with me to Irwindale and Pasadena. I took the laptop in to AMS Technology in Irwindale to get repaired, I got lost weaving in and out of the gravel-pits and was almost late getting there, it is not a “Storefront” it is a warehouse, factory, repair center. It’s like a fort with steel gates and fences and guards. I had to be there between 0900 and 1100, I got there at 1055.
I stopped by Smith Barney in Pasadena to drop off a check and talked with Laura for a few minutes. She said she had a cold and that she had just returned from Maine, I asked where, and she said some town I had heard of but couldn’t place. She asked if I was familiar with Maine and I mentioned that I was born there, she was surprised, she said “so was I, where were you born?” I said “Presque Isle” he mouth dropped, “So was I”. It’s a small world but this is eerie. We jabbered abbot Maine for a while and she lived there, went to school and college there, she is about Jeffrey’s age. If you wanted to get as far away from LA as you can get and still be in the United States with access to amenities like electricity it would be Presque Isle.
Christy took the girls out for school clothes… and dropped Tim/Mike off at Osceveo’s (sp) house.
I have the PC almost back together, I had to download files to get the scanner working and the little drive that reads the floppy out of my camera was a bear too…but it all works… the D drive seems to be holding up well so I may not have to format it…
8/7/99 Saturday
…Christy took all the kids but "B" to church. "B" told his Sunday School teacher to go to hell and walked out… he is apparently persona non grata. I puttered with the PC till I got bored. I started cleaning the MotorMonster and noticed the tell tale sign of vermin… I hate mice, I set traps and kill ‘em, I have a friend who uses humane traps and then he sends the poor misunderstood beasties on Club Med vacations or something… Mice are disgusting, destructive, filthy, little pests.
"B" and I got the mail, I went to the Acton Market for more traps and they were out of them, mice are thick this year. I drove in to Palmdale to deposit a check, we went to Wal-Mart and bought some mousetraps and another chair for Autumn, the kids broke all the others..
Chris took all the kids to Bonnie’s for the afternoon and … it was a laid back day… even did a little Genealogy…
8/8/99 Sunda
y
… CBS demanded that Direct TV shut off my ability to watch “Sunday Morning’ today… I take this sort of thing personally. DirecTV and CBS are having a spat. CBS is a used-to-be Fat Cat throwing it’s weight around while it still has the power to get away with it. All this petulant posturing is really making them look bad. I paid for Direct TV and I want what I paid for… I could get the signal back if I wrote to CBS and begged them to let Direct TV turn me back on again but… I can be petulant too.
They are filming a movie next door, according to the signs littering the telephone poles the “working title” is “Bats”. It is 2300 and this whole end of the valley is lit up like it’s noon. They have one arc light trained on my bedroom window. As a whole the movie industry has provided a service by providing a diversion for the public in times of national stress like the depression or WWII but over all they serve no useful purpose, and individually the practitioners of the “mystical art of movie making” are a bunch of arrogant, pretentious, posturing, petulant, rude, insensitive and irrelevant bastards.
I have yet to meet anyone in the entertainment world who I would like to have a beer with.
I digressed again… sorry… anyway… no “Sunday Morning”… Christy made pancakes (Down East Pancakes from the Betty Crocker Cookbook) they are delicious… To reward Christy for the Pancakes I packed all the kids, except Cindy who was having a hard time remaining cool, into the van and went to the park… and Der Weinerschnitzel, and McDonalds (D.W. doesn’t do shakes) and the Donut Inn (For Cindy’s donut)
The Daggett’s Aug 4, 1940
John & Natalie Daggett, Ruth & Jimmy Fuller, Dorothy & Doug Johnson, Martha, (back) Robert Daggett, Martha P. Daggett, Leah & Horace Daggett, Cecil Daggett Sr., Emily & Cecil DaggettJr. (Front) James & Christopger Fuller, Jack and Martha Johnson
Without education, we are in a horrible and deadly danger of taking educated people seriously.
- G.K. Chesterton -
August 9, 1999
Christy and I spent most of the day on the phone gathering information and support for the IEP meeting for "B" at Acton School tomorrow.
Tim/Mike and Christian went over to a friend’s house from about 1030 to 1430.
I took the kids to see a movie, I was too late making the decision to get to the early show so we went to the 1915 show. We saw the cartoon, excuse me, Animated Feature, “Iron Giant”, mercifully it was entertaining enough so that I could get through it without falling asleep… actually, it was really pretty good, it was heavy handed as all get out but that’s what is needed to keep the kids interested. I have never seen them get so emotional, they all laughed, cried and booed at the right time… If you have kids or grand kids or whatever and you want to take them to a movie that won’t make you gag this one will do.
We stopped by Jack-in-the-Box for shakes and fries, the kids were still jabbering about the movie… cool, I really enjoyed being with them tonight… of course that feeling deteriorated within five minutes of getting home when the fights and yelling and cussing broke out…
It is a curious phenomenon, they will only be good to each other for short periods of time, there is a perpetual ebb and flow to their relationships with us and each other from anger and resentment to love and devotion sometimes ten or fifteen times a day. They rotate their emotions, allegiance and antagonism through the family one person at a time. It is akin to a perpetual testing process, they seem to be asking “You say you love me, but will you love me if I hit Christian over the head with a shoe?”
August 10, 1999
We packed up the kids and went to Acton School for "B"’s Emergency IEP…
To bring you up to date:
Devereux called on 8/6 to say Santa Barbara wouldn’t fund "B"’s education at Devereux…
I called Santa Barbara and they said it was all a misunderstanding, sure, they would fund "B"’s Education.
Ms Wegman of Acton School called Santa Barbara and now Santa Barbara is in the “No Fund” mode.
We scheduled an “Emergency IEP” for today.
We contacted the Social Worker and informed him of the obstruction to "B"’s new placement.
OK…
…Now…
We went in to the IEP thinking the enemy was the Santa Barbara School District and found out after an intensive 2 and a half hour discussion our problem is our own School District.
Some things I learned…
Acton School’s policy regarding aggressive children is “ reactive not pro-active”. As long as the employees at Acton School can react to "B"’s actions, and prevent further incidents they feel they are “doing their job…” In other words, if they can find a way to control him after the fact they have “met the scope of their directives…” or (I know I am over stating this but I find it so incredulous I can’t stop myself) if he really hurts someone they will devise a plan that will prevent him from doing it that way again. They are allowed to be reactive, i.e. Time Out, Principals office, sent home, call 911, Suspension, expel, do a moving eulogy at the funeral.
They made it perfectly clear to us that there is virtually no circumstance where they would recommend or approve of sending anyone into a more restrictive environment like Residential Care. (They would put him in a cage in the principal’s office first!)
Nothing in their “guidelines”, according to them, allows for them to accommodate him to get treatment for his problems outside the district. At least not treatment by anyone other than the Local School District. They will provide, Speech therapy (I went to one with "B"… 40 minutes a week with four other hyperactive kids… "B" didn’t get to say three words), They will provide Adaptive PE (A pathetic exercise in reinforcing "B"’s low self esteem), and since the other incidents were dealt with, i.e. beating up a 7 year old girl on the bus was handled by not letting him ride the bus, the hitting on the play ground was handled by not allowing him to go to recess, the punching kids in line after lunch was handled by sending him from Agua Dulce School to Acton School. Throwing and hitting another child with scissors was handled by taking the scissors away and seating him next to the Aide, when he commits suicide from depression I am sure
they will provide a moving eulogy, and if he should kill someone in a fit of rage, I am sure they will say they did all they could to see to it that they reacted properly after the fact and wring their hands in remorse for the deteriorating state of children and family in today’s society.
I had to walk out for a while I was so frustrated and angry. We signed the IEP but Christy wrote:
“I disagree with "B"’s current placement. I believe and agree with the Psychiatrist, Social Worker, and Pre Admission evaluation that he would be better served and treated in Residential Care as Public School cannot give him the intensive therapy that "B" requires to gain emotional stability”
We can’t afford to lose everything we have worked for over the past 30 or 40 years because Acton School is hamstrung by their own policies… He will not return to Acton School….
Christy and I were on the phone the rest of the day. I notice Christy cries when she is really mad, I tend to lose my vocabulary, all but the four letter words. We decided that we would get some rest and go to war in the morning.
Preparing for war:
We talked to:
Devereux Center;
Kelly McCool, Anna, whose hands are tied…
Department of Children’s Services;
CSW Randy Gracia, “Tell me what you need”
Alliance for Children’s Rights;
Andrew Bridges, Lead Atty, their Special Ed Atty will call us.
Michael Antonavitch’s Office;
Mary took a lot of information and said she would call the Person In Charge of that sort of thing and get back to us.
Mary called back and said she had contacted the director of the Office of Special Education and he said He is aware of the situation is already working on it and will call us back by tomorrow.
Department of Education in Sacramento
Department of Education in Sacramento; Legal Department
McGeorge School of Law, California Mediator for disputed IEP’s
Director of Special Education in Sacramento; Alice Parker’s secretary
La County Director of Special Education; Harold Standerfer
Director of Special Education in Sacramento; Consultant’s Office
She Faxed Acton School, (I sense more bridges smoldering)
Acton District Special Education; Mr. Lorenz
Golita School District;
Steve Minjerez who was very supportive but ultimately of no help…
Santa Barbara School District;
I called the Supervisor in charge. She is a burned bridge… After begging her for any assistance or direction to get around this bottleneck she said. “No, our policy states that we can only look at the IEP” then she said, “I understand completely how you feel.” I said, “You couldn’t possibly know how I feel” and hung up on her. She is about the third person I have hung up on in my entire life. I just wasn’t about to let the crocodile tears of some bureaucrat slip by without some reaction. I felt better… I don’t know why, it will probably come back to haunt me before this is all over.
Christy went out with Carol to get Tai food (An oxymoron in my opinion) and I puttered with miscellaneous stuff.
August 12, 1999
We did a lot of Faxing and set up a package to send to the lawyers in Sacramento… I mailed it at noon, it cost $13.00 to send that beast north… Christy and I talked about what we are getting into and tried to get a rough idea about the ramifications of this impending battle. The down side is that we are now on the wrong side of Acton School District and we still have 6 kids in their system. They are not noted for being vindictive but after going to battle for Tim two years ago we know that they only have to follow their rules and guidelines to the letter to make our lives miserable. We have had kids sent home for violating “the rules”. The school has turned us in to the “Child abuse hotline” because they are not required to actually think, if they are presented by “Just Cause”, dirty clothing, uncombed hair… looks like neglect to me, by George. A black eye, scratches, bruise? Looks like
physical abuse to me, Yup sure does by golly. "B" was mad at me because I made him go to school and accused me of “…picked me up by the neck and threw me across the room…” "B" has accused practically everyone he knows of hurting him…
I went out to the ROF.
While I was gone Christy let the kids go up to the “Broken House”, Christian came back and said Tim/Mike had been hurt… Mike came up the driveway with blood streaming down his face holding the top of his head. It was just a superficial scalp wound, they bleed a lot. Lumpy apparently hit him with a rock … “But it was an accident Mom… Honest … I was trying to hit "B".” Christian cracks me up, in a scary sort of way.
August 13, 1999
AMS Tech called at about 09:30 and said my laptop had been repaired… apparently the BIOS was screwed up somehow… I packed up Autumn and Cindy and we drove down to pick it up.. this outfit is pretty strange, they don’t appear to be used to dealing with actual people, they wanted to “UPS, Ground” it to me. Ground apparently means mule train or something because I wouldn’t get it back till a week from today… so they told me I could pick it up between 11:00 and 14:00. I got there at about 12:05, apparently they all go to lunch at the same time and my Laptop was locked in the warehouse until 13:00…what they didn’t say was they wouldn’t be able to help me between 12:00 and 13:00 either. What a pain…
When I got home I took "B", Cindy, Autumn and DaMoke out to Super Cuts … it was DaMoke’s first hair cut. Cindy has naturally curly hair, she looks adorable with her hair cut short. I had them cut about four inches off Monica’s hair, her hair was looking sort of scraggly, it looks pretty good now. ‘"B" looks a little less scruffy too.
While I had the kids out for a haircut Christy took the other three out to buy clothes… This clothing stuff is getting expensive.
August 14, 1999
We are expecting Autumns first Foster Parents Jerry and Joanne Noyes up here today… more frantic cleaning… the kids didn’t get their medicine this morning so the church excursion was abbreviated, Christy got home about 1030 while I was on my way to Wal-Mart. I needed more Mousetraps, I got about four of them but the little buggers living in my MotorMonster are able to eat the peanut butter off the trigger mechanism without activating it. So… glue traps it is… I don’t like them but they are effective…
Jerry and Joanne arrived at about 1400… they went to Tehachapi for the “Apple Festival” They don’t actually grow apples there any more, the guy that sponsored it passed away, but they have a nice parade… He bought apple pies at “Marie Calendars”. He brought his brother his adopted daughter Selena, and Mark a foster child and his infant brother… Mark is adorable, part Japanese, part Hispanic, part Caucasian but he has a lot of problems, his baby brother is recuperating from an operation too…
They came to see Autumn, they raised her for 1 month shy of 3 years… Autumn got under their skin. I like them, we had a nice talk… they left about 1830.
August 15, 1999
Today was pretty unspectacular… My shoulder has been acting up for a few days, I can barely raise my right arm… I will probably have to make a trip into Kaiser mañana. I took the girls and Tim/Mike to Wal-Mart to get them backpacks for school… Took all the girls for a walk up to the old mine off Crown Valley Road… somebody dynamited it shut, probably a good idea but it was a disappointing end to our walk. It is a nice view from up there though… This is the first walk I have taken in a while and I really paid for it… I was wasted when we got back. When I worked in Sherman Oaks, my friend’s Bill, Jim, John, Hal and I used to walk from Ventura Blvd to Mullholland Drive and back on a lunch hour. Bill called it “walking in my orchard”; grapefruit, oranges, lemons, apricots, pomegranates … quite a nice walk. Some of the tree owners got wise to us though and would stand in their doorways till we walked by. Anyway,
couldn’t do that today…
Monica was rummaging through Mom’s jewelry, and asked “Is this real gold?” Mom said “No, it’s ‘costume jewelry’”. Mokie put it on and ran out saying “Calie, look Halloween jewelry!” Makes sense to me…
You should judge a man by his foes as well as his friends.
August 16, 1999
I went into Kaiser and got in and out pretty quick, not the usual 3 ½ hour wait, Tendonitis in my shoulder and elbow. He gave me some anti-inflammatory medicine. Christy called as I was leaving Kaiser and informed me that she was in-route to Kaiser Mental Health, Cindy’s appointment was for 11:30 not 17:30. Chris dropped all the other lids off over at Carol’s house and took Cindy in to Dr. Doan. I met her there after the appointment and took Cindy shopping with me, Christy took our kids home along with two of Carol’s, Christopher and Cassie.
I mailed off a copy of “Riverdance from New York” to my sister, it’s the one made after Michael Flatley left the show, his departure made a marked improvement in the performance in my opinion. Now it celebrates dance not Flatley.
Apparently one of my neighbors has half of a jet plane in his front yard. Tim/Mike and Christopher went over there and were playing in it, the Wife of the guy that put it there yelled at them and then followed them home and then she yelled at me. I calmed her down and found out what happened, the kids had taken something out of the plane and she thought they were stealing it (they probably had given it some thought) they honestly thought it was just junk and were a little surprised when someone got upset that they were playing in it. About a half hour later the owner (Mr. Campbell) came over and read the boys the riot act, he was a little taken aback by how contrite they were, I’m sure he was prepared to call the cops but he was satisfied with making them quake in their shoes. I think that both boys learned a good lesson.
August 17, 1999
Christy wanted to make Banana Bread Muffins so I had to make an emergency run to the Acton Market for the stuff I forgot to buy at Albertsons yesterday.
I took Tim/Mike to see the Russian at 10:00… We had a nice talk, not a lot of therapy going on though… We talked to Tim/Mike about his tendency to change the subject. Conversations with him are so off the wall that they are bordering on surreal…
Russian, “Mike, are you anxious for school to start?”
Tim/Mike, “Dad can you buy me some “Sopes”?” (Sopes are skateboard shoes)
Russian “Mike can we stay on the subject?”
Tim/Mike “Sure, my bike is all scratched up but dad won’t let me paint it.”
Russian “Mike, what does that have to do with school?”
Tim/Mike “Nothing, the rollerblades I want have ‘grinding plates’.”
At which point we give up… and talk about ‘"B".
Christy has been working the phones all day, we are getting a lot of encouraging words and the people we are talking to seem to be sure that the matter will be handled at the Mediation Hearing and won’t have to go to trial.
Christy took Christopher and Cassie home and then she and Carol went out to din-din.
August 18, 1999
We had two calls on "B" today… The first was from the Children’s Advocacy Group. They are supposed to provide Lawyers for hearings in matters pertaining to situations like this… The call was from an earnest young law clerk gathering data to present to the “real lawyers” her name was Cassidy, first or last name I am not sure… She was doing her job… was no help what so ever, we faxed her 34 pages of IEP’s and other documents, we’ll see if anything comes of it. The second was from a real Lawyer and he was calling to gather information and impart wisdom, He actually had some good ideas but he wouldn’t be able to assist us in any tangible way, bottom line… we are on our own… Our stance re; "B" is that he is not getting an education or services for his problems in Public School, and due to his behavior problems and other
disabilities the least restrictive environment with the services he needs is in Residential care at The Devereux Center.
I took Christian for his haircut and got one myself, I get a haircut every six months or so whether I need one or not, Tim/Mike and Calie tagged along to see the shearing, lord knows why, they are all strange children…
I barbequed burgers and tube-streaks, guys are supposed to like to Barbeque but I don’t, it’s hot, greasy and boring. Christy usually does it because she’s good at it but she was busy working the phones…
My sister called at about 18:00 tonight to wish Christy and I a Happy Anniversary… Christy and I looked at each other and burst out laughing… we had both completely forgotten. (Thank God we both forgot, had it just been me alone, I would be hanging from the yardarm) I have been with Christy for 17 years now and, … well, it hasn’t been dull…
August 19, 1999
…Today I am trying to get my old computer set up so Christy can use it… what a chore, I want to use her PC to load programs on for the kids. Learning games mostly… Lots of Reader Rabbit, Putt Putt, and that sort of stuff…
I got the kids to the park for a while, I have a sinking feeling that the park is as close as we’re going to get to camping this summer… depressing thought… Autumn starts school on Monday and the rest go on the 7th of September…
August 20, 1999
I stayed up pretty late last night working on getting all my PC’s working I need to buy some beer and get ST over here to help me network these damn things. Steve doesn’t work for beer but I pretend he does so I don’t have to pay him…. I had Christy’s and my old PC networked last year but that’s all screwed up now…
No progress on the "B" Wars, we can’t get hold of the person who sets dates for Mediation Hearings… Christy had "B" on an outing. I think Christy is attempting some last ditch bonding, poor "B"… I don’t think he is capable of bonding, not now, he is too wrapped up in… "B", can’t except love cause he can’t give it…. I took Tim to his friend’s house and took Cindy, Calie & DaMoke over to Bonnie’s house to spend the night. Autumn, Lumpy and I went to Don Cuco’s for lunch. Lumpy is quite a neat kid, I tend to loose him to the “squeaky wheel syndrome”. There are so many squeaky wheels that need attention around here that I forget to give him the time he needs… Bad Daddy! … I will endeavor to rectify that situation ASAP.
We had fun at the restaurant with Autumn… Autumn was in her squirmy mode and she is a handful and a half when she wants to play. She was all over the place and lumpy and I each had to hold one of her legs to keep her from sliding under the table or climbing over the back of the booth. I had to ask for a towel to clean up all the food and soda she slopped on the table, seat and herself. She, by the nature of her CP, is a very messy eater, she only pretends to chew to appease me and chokes on her food when she tries to swallow it whole, when lifting a glass to drink, it is at a 45 degree angle before it gets to her mouth so about a quarter of the contents are usually spilled if I haven’t got the presence of mind to pour off the top third of it into a spare glass. She drinks by sucking water out of a glass it is very strange… and has
not learned how to turn her wrist when using a spoon so about 70% of everything she puts in a spoon lands on the table or her. The guys that work there know us and make allowances, and I leave a double tip when I skulk away.
August 21, 1999
Saturdays are laid back days. "B" and I stayed home and I played with Genealogy and PC and "B" watched TV and went to take a nap at about 10:00. He was supposed to clean the trash from around the house (Yes trash). It is amazing how fast this place can get messed up. I like to blame the wind blowing other peoples stuff over here but the reality it’s just 9 people not cleaning up after themselves.
Chris came home and fed the kids and then took all of them to Thousand Trails (A Campground – Club – Resort –Concentration Camp where the inmates pay) Lots of people like it there but to me it’s like camping hell.. the sort of place where you pay big bucks for the privilege of being regulated buy a bunch of very polite ‘Gestapo like’ employees in neo-nazi ranger uniforms) It is like a park, the grass is mowed, the weeds are removed, there is a concrete stream bed with water in it for the kids to play in, there are rec. rooms with pinball machines, and ping pong tables, it’s sanitized, homogenized and unpolluted. I think of all the happy people in Stepford every time I go there…
I tried to watch the Cowboys – Patriot’s game but I fell asleep, Christy got home as it ended.
Tim/Mike is “acting out” again. By that I mean he is losing his ability to control his emotions. He is being a major brat and is getting angry quite often… He is bored too, I think. He needs to be active and I haven’t provided a lot of opportunity for him to get out and burn off energy. Both Tim and Lumpy need to be at an elevated level of activity or they get nasty.
August 22, 1999
The kids have been sleeping out on the trampoline for the past two nights, not all of them, just the boys and DaMoke last night and the boys and Cindy the night before. Moke came in about 09:30 and the boys stayed out, they say they stayed up all night, they woke us up at 05:00 with the TV… Then went to sleep at about 06:00 and slept till about noon. I couldn’t get my lazy butt out of bed this morning… I didn’t get in the shower till 0900… Christy was running interference for me and kept the kids at bay… I must remember to reciprocate…
We have "B"’s “Case Worker” Randy (Randolph) Gracia coming for a visit mañana, he’s a pretty conscientious guy and he seems very concerned about ‘"B"… We hope to do some strategy planning prior to the hearing. We think we have the upper hand, but you can never be sure. Everyone involved thinks they have staked out the moral high ground and will be thumping their Handbooks and Procedures Manuals so it will be a tough argument to win.
Anyway, the house needs a lot of work and here I sit nerdily punching keys on my keyboard, Christy and I will get up early and make the place presentable… Licensing has called for their “Annual” inspection, they aren’t due up here till November… interesting coincidence… am I paranoid or just a little battle-weary. Oh well, I needed to clean out my shed again anyway… Guess I’ll just vaccum and go to bed…
"The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20
has wasted 30 years of his life."
-- Muhammad Ali--
Monday August 23, 1999
We decided that Autumn needed to use her walker more and we also decided that the walker needed to be adjusted higher too. Autumn grabbed it and took off like a rocket. She got to the kitchen and stopped in front of the sink to tell us with sign language that she wanted “water”. When she raised her hands the walker slipped sideways on the kitchen floor and she fell against the cupboard and walker and cut the inside of her upper lip. It looked pretty deep and bled quite a lot. Randy (The Social Worker for "B") was due in an hour and Christy needed to be here so I took her to Kaiser. I took Cindy and Calie too, glad I did they kept me thinking. When one of the kids get hurt I get a one-track mind and forget stuff, like pick up "B"’s Medicine. Autumn was fine, the bleeding had stopped by the time I got the car started and she was laughing and playing with Calie all the way to the Dr… We saw
the “Advice Nurse” and she said that there was nothing they can do so we got "B"’s medicine, I called Christy and found out that Randy wouldn’t be able to make it because of some emergency so I went to K-Mart and got Autumn some new cloths for school. Christy has some on lay-away but doesn’t want to pick them up till just before school starts. If we pick them up early the kids just trash them, so get the shopping done early and we leave them at the store for safe keeping.
We got a call from the attorney’s office handling Tim/Mike’s adoption and finally, after four years, have a court date for finalizing … September 9th, 1999. It has been a struggle and frustrating as all get out. Too bad the "B" fiasco is happening now… We can’t let that detract from the relief and happiness we feel. I think Tim/Mike is a diamond-in-the-rough and I want to be there when he proves it.
We got a letter from Penny in The Bottleneck Department of the Sacramento offices of “The McGeorge School of Law” which handles the Mediation Conferences, The Bottleneck Department, AKA “Calendar Clerk’s Office” was unfamiliar with the use of that new-fangled invention called the telephone and sent me a letter to inform me that they couldn’t process our request for a Hearing because the we were too dumb to include the addresses of the people we wanted subpoenaed for the proceedings. Christy had FAXed that information to a lady named Anna (In the same office as Penny) last Thursday.
I just love dealing with people who have nothing invested in their jobs but time, sometimes it’s a delicate balancing act to keep from alienating them, but at the same time letting them know that indifference to our problem is not tolerable. In some instances, when you alienate a bureaucrat they can hurt you more than you can hurt them… a lost document, a misplaced memo and they can really spoil your day. One phone call last Thursday would have gained us three working days. Their processes are suspect and I am pissed. I sincerely hope that the rest of the departments in their organization are run more efficiently.
Now that I am on a roll I may as well mention the other problem I have with this outfit… I like the “single point of contact” concept. Even if your single point of contact is an idiot at least you know whom to hold responsible. I got a FAX from a fifth person today… Rosa… I have no idea who she is but she wants paperwork too. I have never talked to the same person twice, they seem to have a serious “Left hand”, “Right hand” problem… nobody appears to be responsible for anything…
Tim/Mike “blew up” again tonight, it is difficult to describe what one of these episodes is like. He perceived a “put-down” from Calie and Lumpy and just exploded in a rage… not like you are immagining I am sure, he was really outside of himself, perhaps I have that wrong, he may have been completely inside himself. He really has no control over these events, I don’t believe he van even sense them coming. It is difficult to explain what it is like to witness it… you can see the panic and fury and maybe even fear mixed up in the expressions on his face. There is no way to deal with/handle him when he is consumed by one of these episodes. He controls himself somehow, he has never really hurt anyone, at least not on purpose and that was a well provoked incident and over a year ago. Tonight he was able to keep from hitting anyone, but Chris and I could see that it took every ounce of will-power he had. He went in to our bathroom and
laid down on the floor sobbing. This is the second or third time in the past week that he has had one of these rages. I suspect that he is outgrowing his medication again. Puberty is really wreaking havoc with him now, poor kid has hormones and chemicals racing through his body, I wouldn’t be him for all the beer in Milwaukee.
Tuesday August 24, 1999
Christy taught Foster Parent “D” Rate Training at Antelope Valley College. I had to clean the house but with all the kids that’s a little difficult… I got some done and the kids helped a little Mike and Calie and Cindy helped the most so I took them to McDonalds for lunch… well I took them to McDonalds and brought them home to eat it… they can’t control themselves well enough for me to take them in to eat alone and unaided.
Tim to The Russian at 1400 with all the kids, I talked to her for a couple minutes alone and told her about Mike’s outburst last night, she is convinced he has Bi-Polar what’s it… I don’t know.
On the way back I called Pacific Bell PCS and got Christy and my phone numbers changed… after the area code split my PCS was 805 and my Home phone was 661…they finally gave us we got Palmdale numbers… I called Chris and couldn’t get her… she couldn’t get me either… I checked the phone and she was getting no signal…Telephone is screwed up, a number change can’t effect the phone’s ability to receive a signal but I worked tech support long enough to know that coincidence in electronics as rare as snow in July…
Lumpy broke the other window in Cindy’s room now Cindy has two broken windows, I haven’t fixed the one she broke a week ago…
Wednesday August 25, 1999
Cleaning, I cleaned all morning, Christy was in Reseda getting Cindy psychoanalyzed we did what we could with the cleaning and even though it doesn’t look like it we did a lot of work, I took the kids out for a soda at the 76 Station, they are tearing up the station to put in “card-reader pumps’, that will be nice. We passed Christy coming the other way…
Cindy had a hard time at the Therapists office, she was being put through a series of tests… the Doc said it was getting to be to much for her and he would like to continue at a later date… Christy got the distinct impression that we are not going to like the final read out… I hope Cindy is going to be Ok…
I put up a new screen door, a wooden one this time, I am not putting a latch on it this time just springs… they tear up about two screen doors a year, I am getting tired of replacing them
I bought some new glass for the window in Cindy’s room, that stuff is getting more expensive every time I go down there.
Thursday August 26, 1999
Christy to DSS strategy meeting with the hoi polloi of that organization…they have a new regime and I am sure they will throw the baby out with the bathwater like they do every time there is a changing of the guard. They have some bad problems but that doesn’t mean the whole organization is bad
I cleaned feverishly in preparation for a visit from the Licensing worker. He got here on time and he is a nice guy, a chubby little old (63) Mexican fellow…He’s going to retire at the end of 2000 and we talked about financial arraignments. Since we don’t have Foster Children any more he let us off with just a cursory inspection. We go through this every year because Christy wants to keep the Foster Care License so she can teach… she doesn’t even really need it for that but it gives her credibility.. He checked the water temperature and the fire alarms and left… 20 minutes…
I got a call from the Mediator for the Mediation Hearing, she seemed a little confused… by the time I finished talking to her I was confused too…
I got a fax from the Due Process hearing people, this is getting pretty complicated… I sent a letter releasing the Golita School District and now it appears that I have to send a letter to all the other people involved telling them I released them… pain in the patootie.
Christy’s Pacific Bell PCS phone died at the same time I got the number changed… a number change and the phones ability to receive a signal are not related but it is a strange coincidence…
I promised the kids I would take them to Chuck-E-Cheese’s if they helped me clean and behaved themselves… they did so… I went to Valencia first to turn in Christy’s phone for repair, we got to C.E. Cheese’s at about 13:30, we left at 15:00 so we could get Calie to her dance class on time. The kids all had a good time, Autumn got up in the “tubes” and I could hear her screaming happily up there, she had a real ball, I had to send Mike up there to get her out.
Autumn stood up by herself today, really stood, amazing. She put her feet wide apart and pushed her self erect and stood for about 15 seconds…
Autumn’s “Back-to-School-Night” was tonight too… We got there about 18:30… and met her teachers again, there is one new one and the rest were there last year, Leah, Jan, Gloria and Shannon… they have four kids in their class… one on one teaching… pretty neat. Autumn is the princess, they all adore her, her personal aide is Jan, the teacher is Leah Ide the rest are aides.
Friday August 27, 1999
Christy left for Reseda with Cindy at 07:30
I cleaned in preparation for Randy, "B"’s Case Worker. He called at 10:05 he was supposed to be here at 10:00, asked if He could come out… apparently there was some missed communication, He got here as Autumn’s School Bus arrived, just a few minutes earlier I had reached into Autumn’s backpack to get her “sipper cup” and brought it out with my hand covered with ants. Ants have been a bigger than usual problem up here this year, little almost invisible red ants… anyway…I was scurrying to try to clean the ants out the backpack, and get Autumn water, and the bus came and the social worker came and the kids were being obnoxious, I forgot her walker and had to run back into the house to get it…
I talked with Randy for a long time, Christy made it back and we continued talking and trying to come up with contingency plans in case the hearing goes badly… there just aren’t many options
Saturday August 28, 1999
…Mike was at his buddy Austin’s, Christy took the girls to church, Christian stayed up till midnight and was too tired to go to church and "B"… well, "B" is still black-balled from church… He needed to have some blood work done at Kaiser and I needed to pick up some medicine for him and Mokie too. So I took Christian and "B" to Kaiser and we went to lunch at Karen’s Kitchen. The church was having a Pot-Luck so I dropped the boys off and went to my appointment at Kaiser I had a “Heart Smart” class… I actually learned a couple things. I signed up for the Healthy Eating class…
Something must have clicked because I went for 1 hour walk… my feet are raw…
Sunday August 29, 1999
We had brush fires in the hills behind the house today… a little tense for a while. There was never anything to really worry about but when fire gets that close it is a little sobering… The first thing I want to get in the van after the kids is my photo albums, my pictures are really important to me… the old pictures are irreplaceable and newer ones are part of my personal history. The third thing would be my CPU, I have so much stuff in there I would be sick if I lost it…, most of it is backed up but … still.
I never would believe that Providence had sent a few men into the world ,ready booted and spurred to ride, and millions ready saddled and bridled to be ridden.
I never would believe that Providence had sent a few men into the world ,ready booted and spurred to ride, and millions ready saddled and bridled to be ridden.
Walt Whitman- (1819-1892)
Monday August 30, 1999
The fires were still burning today, there were some, flare ups last night and around mid-morning but the $1000.00 an hour choppers put them out I ran errands today, mostly car stuff, I took the car in to the kids get the front end aligned but Manager kid said “Which way does it pull” I said “Left” they said lets rotate the front tires and see if the problem goes away” so they did, I picked up the girls Cindy, Calie & DaMoke, and drove them to Palmdale to get an oil change. I had promised Mokie I would take her to “Karen’s Kitchen” and I promised Cindy I would buy her a camera, she is going to go to a sleep-over at the Covert’s tomorrow night and wanted to take pictures, also, Calie had $6,00 burning a hole in her pocket so after Karen’s Kitchen we went to Wal-Mart and took care of
promises.
The car pulls to the right now. I stopped by to see the boys and they moved the tires to the back, a quick spin up the freeway tells me that they fixed the problem. Just like the people at Palmdale Glass, they know my name, I give them a lot of business. One of them mentioned that “Customers are wondering if you work here”
Mike’s buddy,Jesse Holcombe, spent the night last night and Mike will go over to his house tonight…
Tuesday August 31, 1999
Christy is teaching at AV College this morning, I have moved Mikes meeting with the Russian to Thursday at 10:00. The little girls will be doing a sleep-over at Bonnie’s house, Bonnie’s kids were supposed to come here but Bonnie smashed some toes and can’t walk so she said to send our girls over there.
I called my sister and got her husband Ross, he was trying to get a rattlesnake out from under the water tank in his garage… so I left word for my sister to call me… when I hung up I would say the snake was doomed but ahead on points.
I took the kids to get the mail and bought them soda and donuts at the 76. I listened to the “experts” talk about Internet Addiction on NPR on the way back up the hill. I suppose, by some definition, I am addicted to what ever it is I do on this PC…I am not on the net surfing or betting or trading or whatever else it is that people do I am connected all day, I check my e-mail more than is necessary, I am compulsive about returning e-mail. I chat with friends on ICQ occasionally but not excessively. But for the most part I am on the PC when the opportunity arises, most times I am wrangling munchkins or running errands.
Christy took the little girls to Bonnie’s and I took Cindy over to Barbara’s house for the Sleep-over/Birthday Party… I am worried about her, she is having a hard time growing up. In some ways she is still about four years old. I picked up Mike at Jesse’s and waited for Christy to get home with dinner. Christy got tied up at Bonnie’s house and didn’t get home till about 21:00. She brought two of Bonnie’s kids with her, David and Richard, David is the twin of Eric, I suspect that they have never been apart. David wanted to go home about an hour after he got here and stayed up all night, drove everyone crazy (everyone but me, I can sleep through a four alarm fire, Navy training). Bonnie brought the rest of the kids over (Four more) and took her mother to the Dr.
The Pages and the Holmstroms have adopted 6 kids each (we have 7) and in emergencies we dump our kids at each other’s houses. Other people just wouldn’t understand. At my ripe old age of 56 years 2 months 9 days, all my friends have raised their kids and moved on to Cruises in the Caribbean, College courses on advanced horsemanship, going to plays and coming home to houses that look exactly the way they looked when they left… actually those two families are the only ones I know of that are completely unfazed by the sudden influx of 7 kids anyone else would probably never forgive me.
Sue called, we had a short chat… she is doing well… the snake met it’s demise under the weight of a deep cell storage battery dropped from about 4 feet onto it’s head. Ross and I agree that any snake that makes it into the house is, in effect, committing suicide.
